On Raisins &c.

My M.O. for making my own baby food has been pretty simple: if Gerber/Del Monte doesn't make it, then I will. I don't see any point to going through all that effort for something that already exists. Plus, we often feed Kirk on the go so we need portable chow. Frozen puree cubes just aren't portable. Kirk really enjoyed the stage 1 prunes but I can't seem to find any in stage 2. (There were also tons of awesome foods that we saw in the grocery store in Texas that we don't have here. Ham and papayas. Mangos. Guavas. All sorts of tropical goodness. It's not fair.) So I reconstituted some raisins and tossed 'em in the food processor. They were a bit tangy for him. He really liked it at first, but after half a serving, it was just too much flavor. Earlier this week I hit upon the idea of mixing a raisin cube with half of his last banana serving. It's not like he was going to eat the bananas plain! And it worked perfectly. It wasn't too banana-y or too raisin-y. Tonight I tried again with the remaining bananas. I think he's on to me. He started making his "ew" face. Which is different from his flavor pucker. I'll have to think up something else to mix the rest of the raisin cubes with.

Mr. b thinks that adding a raisin cube or two to some chicken salad would be a perfect fit. I think I'll have to give that a whirl next time I make some. But I put fresh grape halfs in mine. Would that be weird to mix with raisin puree? I always think it's weird to eat corn salsa with corn tortilla chips. Incidentally, the raisin cubes don't freeze quite solid. They are still a slightly viscous liquid. So it was a challenge removing them from the ice cube tray since I couldn't just crack them out. It was more like a Jell-o mold.

I wonder if the frozen food cubes would be good for Kirk to suck on? It would make a helluva mess! And I suppose he's already learning about self-feeding with his little baby snacks. He likes zweiback toasts and arrowroot crackers and these groovy veggie puffs that Gerber makes that melt in your mouth so you don't have to worry about choking. The sweet potato ones are really, really good! And we got him a little mesh food holder deal, like this, that we can put fruit slices (or veggies or meat or whatever) in for him to gnaw on.

I still wonder about food allergies and all the introduction rules. I know he's fine with wheat since he's had mixed grain cereal. He had already had rice and oatmeal and barley so I figured we had waited plenty long. I think we're still supposed to wait until 1 year before strawberries, though he's already had other berries like blueberries. Maybe they're not the same type of whatever it is that can be allergenic? I'm not really sure how much longer we have to wait before he can start with citrus. I know we're supposed to hold off on peanuts, all nuts now, for as long as possible. And eggs are supposed to be introduced later, too. Maybe we can do those next. Since Kirk doesn't have teeth yet I have to make sure that everything is squishy enough for him to handle. So pieces of cheese are still out. Well, he doesn't even like cottage cheese yet (I think he has a texture issue--he made the same face when we tried to feed him chopped up spaghetti off our own dinner plates) so I guess we'll just stick to yogurt on the dairy front.

PS--Major congratulations to Diablo on her upcoming Letterman appearance! That's so kickass!

Mixed Feelings

My dad is doing substitute daycare today. He didn't need to; the conflict my sister had was canceled. But he had the day off for it and he was super excited to see his grandson! He was just thrilled to pieces when he arrived this morning. I gave him the lowdown of Kirk's current eating and sleeping habits, demo'd the walker, and was off to work. Well, I just got a call from my sister. My dad had called her with Kirk questions. He wanted to confirm how much to feed the boy (1 jar, just like I said) and when he takes his nap (after lunch, just like I said). Dad supposedly didn't want to "bother" me at work. Like I don't fuck off whenever I need to/feel like it anyway. So I really am realing from a serious bout of jealousy right now. It's my son dammit. You ask me questions about how to raise him. Mr. b is always bummed out about how little time we get to spend with Kirk during the day and that my sister gets to see him more than we do. I'm always defending the arrangements and scheduling by pointing out that Kirk sleeps for most of the afternoon so she really doesn't spend that much time with him. And it's truly and honestly fantastic that he's cared for by someone that loves him so much when we're not there. And we have the mornings getting ready with him, which often doesn't get factored in. I admit the evenings do seem short and go by very quickly. As do the weekends. So I really don't need my dad inadvertantly stirring up these feelings of inequality that I so successfully suppress. It's not his fault; I could never say anything to him. I don't know that I'll even mention it to Mr. b. But I have to admit, I'm fighting off tears right now at my desk as I'm typing. My sister played it off as, "Isn't it funny that he called me about your son?" But it's not funny. It hurts.

Heartbreakers

Kirk has been tooling around in his walker for a week now and he’s starting to get into stuff. It’s both adorable and problematic. Like on Sunday. I was trying to make a big meal (fake cannelloni, using lasagna noodles instead of pancakes) while Mr. b was out at band practice. So Kirk was waddling about all Walker, Texas Baby. Then I noticed him picking at the wall suspiciously. He had removed the nightlight from its plug and was trying to stick his fingers in the outlet! GAH! Yes, that nightlight has been moved and there is now a plug cover in its place. He’s also been picking at the loose strings on the couch where Mr. Smoe (R.I.P.) used to sharpen his claws. Which wouldn’t be so bad. Except he then tries to eat them. Sigh.

Kirk is very aware of his newfound mobility. He will deliberately walk over to where we are. And he’ll just as deliberately walk away if we’re boring or if he wants to try to get the kitty or something. (She does not like this new development.) But this also means that if he wants attention, he has a new way to demand it. Now there aren’t just tears and cries. Now he also bangs up against my legs and peers up at me with longing eyes and holds out his arms. How can I possibly resist that? How can I possibly get the dishes done?

Kirk is also experimenting with lots of new syllables. He’s stringing so many together that it often sounds like words. Of course, we hear what we want to hear, so besides the classics like Mama and Dada, he’s also always going on about Klingons, the Bluths, and various Presidents and Vice Presidents throughout history. It’ll be interesting to see how long before he starts associating these sounds with people and things. We’re trying to do sign language with him, but we’re lazy.

Dyn-O-Mite!

Well, the friend that loaned us a car seat before Kirk was even born just came by to pick it up. She’s due with their second on April 1st but is convinced that she won’t make it to April Fool’s Day. We both got a good chuckle out of the fact that the seat was too big for Kirk when he was first born. Crazy. He’s in a back-to-front facer now. Mr. b and I went to the big Baby Fair at Toys R Us on Tuesday. Yeah, we totally got suckered into their coupon flyer. But it was such a great sale!

We got Kirk the car seat ($10 off!) and we got him some miscellaneous food and basic care items (all with coupons!) and we got him a walker ($5 off!) and spent enough to get a free umbrella stroller ($12.99 value!). This was the first time we spent over a hundred, at once, on solely baby crap. It was totally worth it all for that walker.

I know that the American Academy of Pediatrics (or whatever) does not advocate the usage of walkers. And when Mr. b first brought it up to me, I was thinking of those Danger Will Robinson jagged metal 70s deals. But this thing is totally Christopher Pike. It’s so cool! It’s got bears on it and a little toy tray. Kirk is kick ass at going backwards and is starting to realize he can go forwards, too. Two nights. That’s it. He’s already awesome at it and it’s been two nights. He’s so going to skip crawling. I know parents always say, “I don’t know why I was so excited for my kid to start walking, now I can’t keep up!” but dangit, it’s my right as a parent to be excited for my kid to start walking and then exasperatedly tell new parents that it was silly of me to think so!

Texas

Home Sweet Effing Home

Kirk was so good on the plane this morning. He was a bit squirrelly and loud at first but then slept for the entire rest of it. Which was for the best since we're all just miserable right now with Texas colds, courtesy of Kirk's "snot-nosed" cousins. Hot damn descent hurts so bad with a congested head.

The whole visit I kept expecting Kirk to do something new, something BIG something new. Like getting into a sitting position on his own or finally figure out crawling or, most likely, cut a tooth. He was doing so many new small things that I guessed it had to indicate an imminent development. He's got a couple of new noises, one is this funny smacking, pucker-lips thing and the other is bouncing his forearm over his open mouth while "singing", sounding like the old Indian war cry kids do with their hands. But he didn't pull out anything spectacular.

Then I realized that he has been doing something new the whole time. He's been treated like a big boy with his sitting. Grandma and Grandpa have a carseat that stays in the car so going in to places, Kirk comes out on his own, not in the cradle. He tooled around museums in a fantastic umbrella stroller (need one of those right now), sat in high chairs at every restaurant, took baths sitting up in the tub without a baby tub. So that's it then. I was putting off getting a rear-to-front facing carseat until we got back from Texas. We've got to do that this week. And I need to put a bulkier blanket in his diaper bag. Kirk is still a bit small in your average restaurant high chair, especially those cheap wooden ones with no back. We stuffed everything in the bag behind his ass to fit him in there better. Oddly, the nicest high chair was at Popeye's Chicken of all places. Go figure.

Pros and Cons of Travel

Baby Kirk is just loving Texas. It's been totally hot out all week. Today it was like 80 degrees! So he doesn't have to wear a jacket. Or socks! I promised him he wouldn't have to wear a hat but I had to make him wear a sunhat at the park today. It's really cool giving him a sneak preview of summer. I mean, he won't be able to go in a swing again for a couple of months after we get back home. But he's been getting sun-tired. Which is understandable; grown-ups get tired just from fresh air, too.

Kirk is also definitely feeling the effects of not being at home. Just that general sort of weariness that travel causes. We drove to Austin yesterday to spend the night with my BIL and his family. Kirk was fine yesterday. He got to see his other cousins again (he was excited to see a little girl cousin--he likes those!) and his auntie and be fawned over and everything. But the drive back here to Conroe tonight was just too long. The last hour or so was screaming cries. I ended up crawling over to the back seat to soothe him and he eventually fell into an uneasy sleep for the rest of the drive.

It's all been good preview and practice for when we drive to Georgia for my cousin's wedding in May. Kirk will be older. And my mom with be going with us. But we already know that Kirk needs to have shorter chunks of time on the road. And nighttime driving should be avoided if at all possible. He's a good boy. It's fun traveling with him. I look forward to many more fun trips down here.

Flying Babies

Kirk did pretty good on most of the flight yesterday. The woman sitting behind us on the plane called him "a very good traveler" but she was sleeping the whole time so what does she know! There were 2 other zero year olds onboard and so the three of them took turns being the Loud Baby. Since it was an evening flight, I think most of Kirk's issues were simply due to the interruption of his normal nigh-nigh routine and extreme tiredness. We tried to keep to the regular schedule as much as possible. Mr. b even fed Kirk a jar of food and I was the high chair. But ultimately, the last third of the flight, Kirk was just overtired and letting everyone know about it. I really don't think he even noticed the turbulence. He did fall asleep in his daddy's arms for 20 minutes or so of the descent, so it could have been worse.

Then shockingly, he didn't fall asleep in the car ride from the airport to Grandma and Grandpa's place! So it was way past his bedtime. He got to bed maybe 10pm or so, finally staying asleep closer to 11pm. My MIL had smartly set up his port-a-crib so the blocked side was facing out, to try to keep him from being distracted by the world outside his bed. But my Mother-to-Baby Psychic Connection told me that part of his difficulty in falling asleep was not being able to see outside his bed in a clearly unfamiliar location. And as soon as I turned the crib around, no worries.

Until, of course, Drunk Daddy stumbled into bed at ridiculous o'clock. No surprise, Mr. b had stayed up half the night, drinking with his mom. Some things never change! But as a mother of a son, I can hardly fault them for wanting that night of drunken conversation. People are correct when they say that being a parent makes you more aware of what your own parents have gone through. But it also gives you a connection to your in-laws that is less acknowledged. I can only hope that Kirk and I have some lovely late night carousing in our distant future!

belsum's Miscellany

Having a baby has made us take care of some much overdue vehicle maintenance. We got the 80,000 mile tune-up done last week. (Yeah, it cost 80,000 dollars. Sigh.) Fixed the apparently leaking transmition. Tires rotated. The whole shebang. We both felt like we were bad parents, endangering our son by not driving a car in tip top shape. This being responsible thing is expensive!

It takes a lot longer to get ready in the morning when it's just me and the boy. I know this should be a no-brainer, but it just hit me. When Mr. b and I are carpooling, we can take turns getting Kirk ready. I get him up and give him a bottle while Mr. b is getting dressed. Then he can change Kirk and feed him cereal while I get dressed and prep the diaper bag. On my own, I keep forgetting and so hit the snooze button too many times and then end up rushing and having to skip cereal, like this morning.

We're heading to Texas again on Saturday for a week. I'm looking forward to seeing my in-laws. But I'm worrying about Kirk on the plane. He was so much littler last time we flew with him. He just slept the whole time. We could shut him up with a bottle. But he's totally his own man now. And he's loud. I'm just afraid we're going to be those parents and I don't want to be. Oh well, it'll give me something to fret about other than flying. I hate flying.

Babies!

Man. I know I'm in the life phase where everyone reproduces, but they're seriously doing it all at once! I have 2 friends due later this year and at least 4 friends in various states of actively trying to get knocked up. Then the other week my best work friend and I busted another co-worker at being pregnant (with her third! and she's 6 years younger than me!). We had been suspicious for a while due to her increasing mental flightiness and extreme exhaustion. But the capper was when we were all out to lunch and she mentioned how her favorite foods just don't taste very good to her any more. Yeah. But we're the only ones here that know. It's so much fun. I love preggo secrets. Now I know why a different co-worker was so giddy when I let her in on my own preggo secret before telling the rest of the office. It's just a great little club to be a part of. Who knew? I don't get off on other traditionally girly stuff. But I have found that I love reproduction stories.

My friend had her future little drummer boy last week. And all I wanted to do was find out about the labor and delivery! I mean, yeah, the little man is adorable and I can't wait to meet him and hug his mommy and daddy. But I was just bursting with curiousity about the birth. On the surface it was pretty much the same as mine: they got to the hospital about the same time, delivered at about the same time. But afterwards, oh that's where it differed. Because she not only hemorrhaged, she also had extreme pre-eclampsia and a fever spike of 102. She was the wow-this-never-happens example for the staff. You don't want that. The dad and baby were ushered out of the room for a couple of hours. How scary is that shit?! But everyone is doing fine now, home safely and everything is normal.

Another exception to the standard preggo rule is Tom's wife. I'm sure he'll blog about it fully but the short version is, his wife is having the baby tomorrow. She's been in the hospital for over a week because she started leaking amniotic fluid at 32 weeks! That's no good. But she's fine, the boy is fine, Tom is fine. They just had to wait while the boy did some double fast final lung development before they induce and he is allowed to come out. So Kirk's preemie clothes are going to get another use! I had thought it was very odd when my SIL returned them all to me after cousin Lukas grew out of them. Who returns borrowed baby clothes? But I guess it was meant to be! I plan to offer them our first carseat, too. Knowing the hassle we went through to find one that passed the tests and was small enough for Kirk, I'm betting the one they have already will be too big.

Side Effects

On Friday at Auntie's, Kirk had his very first blow-out. When we picked him up, he was wearing his cousin A1's shorts, hiked up to his arm pits old man style, and his clothes were in a plastic bag. When we first started leaving Kirk with my sister we would always make sure there was a spare set of clothes, or at least another onesie, in the diaper bag. But we got lazy. He never had a blow-out. When he was first born friends would say ominously, "Wait until you have to cut his clothes off him!" Ew. But, nothing. So it was a shock to learn that he had literally pooped his pants. Especially considering the more solid nature of his poos now that he eats food. My sister swears that it's all due to the antibiotics. She says that whenever her girls were on them they ended up with messy, messy poo.

I think that the drugs have also increased the smelliness of his pee. Since he's been on it, I can smell when he pees. And I mean, it's strong. It smells like he's got hours and hours of pee in there. It smells like he's marking his territory strong. But when I go to change his diaper, there's hardly any wetness.

He's got boogs.

I took Kirk to the doctor yesterday. It was a very weird day in general. We're a one-car family, (a fact that's fun to dangle over the heads of our vocally Green/liberal friends that have two vehicles, hee!) and Mr. b worked an unusual shift at the cafe. So the plan that worked best was me taking the bus to work super early--there are actually quite a lot of people on the 5:49am--and then leaving work at Noon to pick up both the boy and the car from the cafe.

The drive to Doc's new clinic was unexpectedly super long and slow. My parents used to live just a bit farther north than that clinic so I didn't figure I'd mind the distance. But it was snowing that fluffy snow that becomes really slippery as it gets packed down by cars. We were only 10 minutes late. But they got us in immediately. Kirk weighs 19 pounds 3 ounces! He's huge!

Doc took one look at the boy, and despite his lack of a fever, declared that she could "just tell" that he had an ear infection. Actually looking in his ears was a formality. She checked the first one. Clear. Perplexed, she said it must be the other one. Clear. She was stunned. My baby has great Eustachian tubes! So she figured, based on his nasty, crusty, bloody-boogery, chapped little nose, that he must have Purulent Rhinitis. Basically, a sinus infection that's really a nose infection since babies don't have much in the way of sinuses yet. She had a throat culture done just in case, but confirmed that babies very rarely get Strep.

So Kirk's had two doses of Amoxicillin and already seems to be doing better. He woke up at about 11 last night but slept through the rest of it. Yay baby!

Child Safety

So using the Boppy is out. Last night I got up with Kirk at 3:45am and walked in to his room prepared to give him a bottle and get out of there. His pillow was on top of him. Not on his face! But it was on his torso and on his legs and he was playing with the edge that came up to his chin. How the fuck did he end up like that? I mean, when Mr. b was up with him earlier that night, say 11-ish, did he just not put him far enough up on the pillow? I doubt it. Frankly, I don't want to think about what kind of factors were involved. I mean, I switched Kirk over to the sleep sack exclusively several months ago because he started pulling his blankets up over his head. And Mommy just doesn't need those kinds of mini-heart attacks in the middle of the night when she's already groggy and annoyed about being up in the first place. So tonight I'm going to order the under-the-sheets wedge thingie.

And also this:

Britney. What the fuck? I mean, I know you're the queen of the trailer court and all, but it's not the 1970s. You can't do that. And as much as Mr. b might reminisce about standing up in the back seat of the car with his brother, playing with toys on the rear dash, even he was aghast upon seeing you driving with your baby on your lap. Stop endangering your son dammit! He already has no chance of a normal life what with you being his cracker-ass mother! Gah!

A star is born?

People keep saying that Kirk looks like Baby Bob. Now, considering that I'm terrified of that talking abomination, clearly this concerns me. Mainly, it's aunts and uncles that don't see him regularly. But it's both sides of the family so it's not like they're talking amongst themselves and passing on the suggestion! Mr. b's theory is that since Kirk is just such a Classic Baby, he then would get the comparison. Big round head, big eyes (I can only see the almond shape that he gets from me, personally) and whatnot. Since Bob is getting a bit old, apparently Kirk needs to get the job. I'm too lazy to sign him up at a casting agency!

Sharing

Kirk has had a cold since late last week. He passed it on. He didn't just pass it on to me. He passed it on to his daddy and his auntie and his cousin as well. We were all just a miserable pile of snot factories dropping off the baby this morning. I imagine this is only the first of many colds instigated by the boy.

I think Kirk was over the worst of it yesterday afternoon. It was heartbreaking though. Mr. b was away at band practice and so I had no relief. Kirk was beyond crabby. It was the kind of red-faced wailing that cannot be soothed. He was inconsolable. Classic little kid snot lines covering the short distance below the nose to the mouth. Sometimes when he cries it's hilarious. This was just sad. And since there was nothing I could do, I had to just keep spooning lunch into his mouth. He'd pause to swallow and then start back up with the hating of life, the universe, and everything.

We don't have one of those handy crib wedges to slip under the sheet and elevate the baby's head. And obviously Kirk couldn't sleep flat on his back with the kind of congestion this cold has caused. So I've been propping him up on the big Boppy I bought for preggo sleeping. It had also been a wonderful nursing pillow for me and late night bottling pillow for Mr. b so I guess this is its third life. So far it seems to be helping. Kirk took a nice, solid, long nap yesterday afternoon and only woke up once last night. Of course there's still a part of me that's terrified I'm going to make him get smothered. But for as wiggly and spastic as he is while awake, he really doesn't roll around while asleep. Thrash his legs? Yes. But he doesn't turn his torso. I should really get a proper wedge anyway.

Groundhog Day

Today is Kirk's 7 month birthday! It's just astounding how time is flying. I'm going to have to switch to the next chapter (8-12 months) in his owner's manual. Doc had wanted us to be at 3 meals a day, plus whatever snacks are needed, by 7 months. And it's happened! Well, not everyday. But more often than not Kirk will have cereal or yogurt & applesauce before he goes to Auntie's house. Doc also said that we could start him on meats at 7 months. Mr. b only managed to wait until 6 3/4 months. He's so excited that his son isn't a vegetarian any longer! Kirk so far has had Beef Dinner (tastes like watered down Campbell's vegetable beef soup) and Chicken with Noodles Dinner (tastes like watered down chicken noodle soup) and seems to like them both. There are so many interesting flavor combinations with the stage 2 foods. It's hard to remember not to introduce too many new things at once. We still need to monitor for any potential reactions and so will need to be able to isolate what the new element was. Though there aren't any food allergies on either sides of our families so I'm not worried. Still gonna follow the rules though! Kirk's new favorite dessert is pears with wild blueberries. It's like candy!

It's amazing to think back to what he was like 5 or 6 months ago. Take diapers for instance. We changed his pants every 3 hours, pretty much like clock work. Because we were shoving a bottle or a boob in his mouth every 3 hours anyways. Now I'll go to check his pants when I'm putting him in his jammies and his diaper will be completely dry! Sure, it may have only been an hour or 2. But it's still good to know that Kirk's not just literally peeing at every moment of his life! Of course Mr. b and I jinxed ourselves when we commented that he hasn't peed on us during a diaper change in quite a while. There's actually a product for that. Check this shit out!

Photo Ops

I find that when I'm taking pictures of Kirk, I tend to focus on what he's wearing. I realized we didn't have any pictures of him in his robot and space ship jammies so that was my only reason for that one. Sure, sometimes there is just something that's really cute that I'll have to capture. But more often than not, it's just his outfit. 'Sides, by the time I get the camera out, the cuteness is usually over. Or else I'll be so wrapped up in actively cultivating the cute that I won't even think about snapping a pic. It'll be interesting to see if I find it easier to pass along clothes since I'll have a record of pretty much all of them.

Hipsters and Strippers

Watching the movie DiG! and reading the book Candy Girl both produced extreme feelings of familiarity. The specifics of each were different, of course, as were the causes. But I found it interesting to have intimate knowledge of the subject matter for entirely disparate reasons.

The music documentary DiG! parallels the fortunes of The Brian Jonestown Massacre and The Dandy Warhols during the mid-nineties. Though the movie was released in 2004, I only saw it for the first time a few months ago. It was hard to watch because I knew, felt really, that plot. I have not officially met any of the members of either band, though my husband has opened for them or other permutations involving former members. (And apparently we startled some BRMC guys in the basement of the Entry one night. Long story.) So, while both bands enjoyed more fame and success than local peers, the basic elements of the 90s music scene were the same. And, having lived that scene here in Minneapolis, seeing it before me was startling. I knew the Twin Cities versions of all those character archetypes. I’d counseled friends through Midwest versions of the same interpersonal dramas. I’d witnessed the infighting and backstabbing and adoration and jealousy and assistance and luck that had swirled around all the bands of my friends and acquaintances. Consequently, viewing the movie was just a bit…too close to home.

On the other hand, I do personally know the narrator of Candy Girl, and her husband and step-daughter. But the familiarity I felt in this situation was not due to the subject matter, though I did read the Pussy Ranch when it was still up. Rather, I knew what was happening at the edge of the action described in the pages of her memoir. The apartment building Diablo and Jonny lived in? We lived one floor below. The road trip they took Out West? We cat sat George (R.I.P.) and Larry. The Vegas wedding? We attended. The house they bought? I gave them the name of a loan officer. All the mundane details of everyday life when you live and work near your friends. As well as the feelings of concern I had for Jonny while reading the Ranch during The Year. I didn’t know Diablo well yet, though it was obvious she was a vast improvement on the previous wife. I did know very well what Jonny had gone through getting out of that last marriage—hell, he lived with us for a while afterwards!—and I didn’t want him getting hurt. Now I can see my worries were unfounded, but then I had no idea if she was going to start “making movies” or just how far it would all go. It was very interesting being reminded of those overprotective feelings towards Jonny’s well-being.

I am curious to know how I will react to someday seeing the possible film version of Candy Girl onscreen. Will it be the same ephemeral familiarity, of seeing myself just around the corner, at the edge of my peripheral vision, that I had while reading the book? Or will it be the visceral, gut level, absolute, life style, personal familiarity I had while watching DiG!? I sure hope I get to find out.

Auntie Daycare

I have another real, solid item, besides pain-in-the-ass to get to, in the “con” column for Auntie Daycare. My sister is sick. She has strep. She called last night when she got back from Urgent Care to let me know. With regular daycare, if a staff member is sick, they stay home for the day. With Auntie Daycare, I have to keep Kirk at home. And like last week when A1 had strep, with regular daycare, she just would have been kept at home. But with Auntie Daycare, she was at home. So I had to keep Kirk.

I really didn’t want to have to just stay home from work today. Besides simply not wanting to use up ¼ of my vacation time before the end of January, I’m busy! So I called my mom to see if she’d be willing and able to come down. Thankfully, she was. So Mom arrived about 9:30 and stayed with Kirk until Mr. b was able to get home. If she hadn’t been able to, Plan B was to call Diablo and see if she’d be willing!

Food & Toys

We learned an important lesson this weekend: do not take valuable keepsake toys into Target. One of Mr. b's employees brought back a cute little stuffed Snowy with her from France. Kirk likes to chew on it. So we went to Target and brought it along for Kirk to play with in the car. Didn't think about it. We got to Target and brought Snowy along for Kirk to play with him in the store. Didn't think about it. Got back to the car, where's Snowy? Mr. b went running back inside and, with the help of a redshirt, managed to actually recover the missing Snowy. And he's never leaving the house again!

Kirk's food is very bland. His favorites seem to be the more exciting of the options. He loves sweet potatoes (Maybe that's the reason for my current obsession with them?) and prunes most. I just made him some broccoli and he was reasonably fine with it. I've only been making baby foods that aren't available pre-packaged. I figure that's a good way to give him more variety. So far he's not too sure about peas, which I suspect may be a texture issue, but he loved them when mixed with vanilla yogurt. In fact, just about anything mixed with vanilla yogurt is a hit. Again, I think it's because it's tangy and so is more interesting than boring ol' formula and cereal. I wonder if there are any rules against feeding a baby bell peppers? Because I could roast some and that would give him a new flavor for sure! Here's the weird thing though, Kirk doesn't like bananas. I've tried Gerber's bananas. I've tried smashing up a fresh banana. I've tried the rice cereal that's got dried banana flakes in it. He just doesn't like bananas at all. In fact, the only way I've been able to use up that cereal is by mixing it with apple sauce. But seriously, who doesn't like bananas?!

Which is worse?

When your baby wakes up an hour before you would normally have to get up for work so you are not mentally prepared for that wake up time?

Or when your baby wakes up in the middle of the night but then you get a chance to go back to sleep before the alarm goes off?

I can't decide.

Working Mom

I attempted working from home yesterday. Since Kirk couldn't be around his cousin until she had been on drugs for 24 hours, I was going to be home with him anyway. I can't actually telecommute because of bogus access rules, but I brought 2 boxes of files home to go through. I didn't even get through one whole box. Granted Kirk was having a cranky day, but still, I don't know if I would have been more productive if he'd been in a better mood. He just requires so much hands on attention still. And besides keeping him entertained, there's pants changes and eating times and shorter naps than when he was an infant. So until he's older and I can put him in front of Hard Day's Night or something for a while, I don't think working from home one day a week will be a good option for me.

I'm going to test out non-standard hours next. I'm thinking four 10-hour days, taking Fridays off. But this might suck because I would have so much less time with Kirk during each day. I don't know if the 3 day weekends with him will be worth it. So another option might be four 9-hour days and a half-day on Friday. When I worked in the field, we did 10 days on, 4 days off. It was great but I think that would be too radical for an office job. Besides, the first and last of those 10 days was always a travel day to get to the dig site. I would probably go batty spending 10 days in a row in a cube farm.

Sick Days

It’s weird to consider that the majority of my vacation days from now on will be for sick baby, baby doctor’s appointments, day care conflicts, etc. I’ve always been a fan of taking a Mental Health Day here or there; I wonder if I’ll feel free to do that anymore? Or if I’ll be too paranoid that I’ll run out of vacation time? Having no vacation time left when I came back from maternity leave really sucked ass.

My sister apparently called last night. I heard the phone ring while I was on the bike but Mr. b didn’t say anything so I figured it was just his work. But when I got to my sister’s place to drop off Kirk this morning, she asked if I got her message. The oldest, A1, isn’t feeling well. She was going to still go to school, but Sis wanted me warned, in case A1 was sent home. Then I get a call from Sis saying that A1 was complaining about a sore throat, so she didn’t go to school after all. So now Kirk is definitely exposed to whatever his cousin has that may or may not be strep. (They’re still waiting to hear back from the doctor. Both A1 and A2 were there for unrelated issues yesterday and he did take a look at her throat. Thankfully, A2’s ear infection isn’t contagious.)

I’m kind of torn about picking him up. I mean, if it turns out to be strep, I’m going. But if it’s just a cold, well, he’s already exposed to it. Going to get him early isn’t really going to lessen his chances of sharing germs. And chances are, I’ll be staying home with him one day later this week. So I should just wait, let him finish off his day, and refrain from using my paid time off. On the other hand, it’s snowing again, so traffic is going to suck going home tonight. Leaving early would avoid that. And who doesn’t like having random afternoons off?! I know Mr. b wants me to pick up Kirk. But that’s just standard Mr. b over-protectiveness. Hmmmm. What to do. What to do. I’ll probably just split the difference and leave early.

Clothes Pony

While at Target this weekend I discovered that everything is on sale right now. So besides picking up a couple of shirts for myself, I picked out tons of new clothes for Kirk. Three pairs of pants, two shirts, a pack of socks, and a pack of jammies. I’ve been pulling all of his 3-6 month clothes out of rotation. I can’t believe I’ve already filled an entire plastic tub of used clothes! And that’s not including the preemie sized stuff I passed on to cousin Lukas.

Baby clothes are sized kinda weird. It took me a while to figure out that size “6 mo” means 3-6 and not 6-9. So all the new clothes I bought are 12 mo, which seems like it would be jumping the gun. But I want him to have stuff last for a while! I realize now I didn’t get a single 9 mo item. Hopefully that won’t matter. Besides, I’m going to have to get summer stuff in a few more months anyway.

So far I’ve only encountered one instance of blatant mislabeling of sizes. Kirk has a cute Cure onesie that Mr. b got as a shower gift and that claims to be size 18-24 months. Thankfully Mr. b didn’t believe that and pulled it out of the bin of yet-to-be-worn clothes in time. Now I’m mildly paranoid and keep checking the other items to make sure there are no other majorly mislabeled surprises in there.

As soon as Kirk starts fitting into the T sizes, I’ll have to figure out a whole new sizing scheme.

Clothes Horse

I did a major closet purge this weekend. I pulled everything that was way too small or just too “young” looking. Maybe I’ve been watching too much What Not to Wear, but I do not want to end up the 40-year-old who shops in the Juniors section and dresses like a teenager. That is tacky and wrong. Hell, I don’t even want to dress like a college student! My personal sense of style has mutated radically over my life, from very Deee-Lite in high school to total 90s hippie in college. But through it all, I’ve always wished for that sense of Banana Republic sophistication. I remember trying to wear pieces from The Limited when I was in junior high, and it totally not working out because they were just too old for me.

The point of it all is, I need to get rid of most of my pre-pregnancy clothes and see what I’m left with. What can I work with? I still have a bit of Xmas money left. What kind of new basics do I need? I’m not going to start wearing Mom Jeans or anything! But I do need to focus on clothes that are more age appropriate as well as careerist. I can still get pieces that are funky and hipster and fine. I want a suit! But it’s also time to stop with the constant baby Ts. I haven’t got a remotely flat stomach anymore. I can’t pull off short shirts with ultra low rise pants. That’s a fact.

I did set aside 4 shirts and 5 pairs of pants into a maybe-I-can-wear-them-again-someday box. We’ll see. I’ve started riding my stationary bike every night after Kirk goes to bed. And I’m trying to keep my eating a bit lighter than it has been. Mainly portion control and no more constant going out to eat. It’s time for me to start actively trying to get back down to pre-baby size/weight.

Solids are fer suckers!

Kirk just went through a very strange food phase this week. He was refusing to eat cereal, fruits, or vegetables. He wouldn't eat any for Auntie, for me, or for Daddy. He would take a bite and then make a horrible face like he was gagging or it was poison or something. It was really awful to see. He was still drinking bottles--formula, juice, and water. But he wouldn't eat solid food. Which he has been doing with astounding proficiency and delight for 2 months now.

I tried doing some internet research on this weirdness and didn't really find anything relevant. I mean, there was stuff about nursing strikes, but he's been fully off the boob for quite some time. And there was tons of stuff about toddlers being fussy eaters, refusing certain things, and the like.

There were some medical explanations, mostly talking about it being painful to swallow. Like the little guys already have acid reflux or something. Scary! Or that teething pain could cause spoon feeding to hurt. Yet Kirk seems to like pressure on his gums when his mouth is hurting. Of course I recently read the Newsweek cover story about anorexia striking ever younger kids, down to age 9, and boys more often than ever. I don't want my poor little peepers pie to have an eating disorder!

There were some psychological explanations, mostly about asserting individuality. Kids don't have a lot of power over decisions in their lives but they can decide to eat or not. (And, just to make it worse, that was one of the main arguments in the anorexia article. Gah!) They all said to not show signs of worry or that would make it worse. So Mr. b and I just kept offering solids to Kirk and then would keep a smile on our faces when he wouldn't do it.

Thankfully yesterday it seemed to be over. Kirk was back to sitting in his high chair with his mouth open wide, like a little birdie waiting for a worm. My sister said he ate for her yesterday, too. But he's continuing to wake up multiple times in the night. Drinking 2 bottles in the night is making him overflow his diapers with pee. (Of course it doesn't help that he's sort of in between diaper sizes. Twos are a bit short but we've still got some to use up. And threes are still a bit bulky.) I guess we need to force him to wait for his bottle and change his pants first. Just like back when he was a newborn and we were used to getting up multiple times in the middle of the night. We're so out of that habit. It's amazing how far we've come. Even getting up once is unusual now.

The owners manual I've been using says that developmental leaps are usually preceeded by a reversion. So maybe the eating thing and getting up at night is signalling an imminent, great, big leap. I moved the crib last night just in case it happens to be getting to sitting up position on his own. We still have blinds on his windows and I don't want him reaching the pull cords. Add "make window treatments" to my list of childproofing I've procrastinated on but must be done NOW.

Check-up Recap

Kirk had his 6 month Well Baby appointment on Friday. He weighs 18 pounds, 4 ounces and is 26 inches. Doc asked if he had any new tricks and we told her about his fairly decent sitting up. She was duly impressed upon viewing him balance before toppling over. She said that big babies have a harder time sitting because they have so much mass to balance. Of course my dad thinks Kirk is just the strongest baby ever and this was simply more proof!

Kirk did exceptionally well with his shots. He stopped crying in between each of the 3 of them. And after the last one, he calmed down right away. He even smiled at the nurse that stuck him! He was slightly less crabby during the weekend recovery as well. But he still doesn't just sleep a ton like apparently I and my siblings and my nieces all did.

Now we move from every 2 months to every 3 months. And there are no innoculations at the 9 month visit so Kirk gets a nice 6 month break before his next immunizations! That's his whole life so far!

I just need to decide if I should switch doctors. Doc is moving to the newly built clinic. The clinic we currently visit is less than a mile from our house. Her new office will be more like 10 miles away. Which really isn't that much but is hugely less convenient than the current one. But I don't really want to try a new doctor. I've been with Doc since I got knocked up. She's been Kirk's only doctor since he got out of the hospital. I guess Mr. b and I will have to weigh the pros and cons.

Doc does want us to get Kirk on a 3-meals-a-day plan by 7 months. And he'll be able to start meats then, too. His daddy is exceptionally excited by that prospect. He's a bit dismayed that his son is a vegetarian. I've just been trying to figure out if meal times will have to change to accomodate the new schedule. Of course, Kirk will still get snacks. But maybe I'll have to designate certain foods, like apple sauce, as snack items only. Yep, lots of minutiae to think about.

For Posterity

As mentioned previously, here’s my earliest book lists. I started keeping track at the end of 2002 but was too anal to just call it 2003. I joined book club in February of 2005 but had coincidentally closed out 2004 year with their January selection, All Creatures.

BOOKS READ IN 2005

1. All Things Bright and Beautiful James Herriot
2. Dragon’s Kin Anne McCaffrey and Todd McCaffrey
3. Superfudge Judy Bloom
4. Blanche on the Lam Barbara Neely
5. All Things Wise and Wonderful James Herriot
6. Hellboy: Weird Tales Volume Two Ed. Mike Mignola
7. Babyhood Paul Reiser
8. Green Mansions W. H. Hudson
9. The Know-It-All: One Man’s Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World A.J. Jacobs
10. Return of the Dark Knight Frank Miller
11. Art of Mending Elizabeth Berg
12. The More Than Complete Hitchhikers Guide Douglas Adams
13. M*A*S*H Richard Hooker
14. Bunnicula: A Rabbit-Tale of Horror Deborah and James Howe
15. The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents Terry Pratchett
16. Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underground Anthony Bourdain
17. Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
18. Green Grass, Running Water Thomas King
19. Being a Green Mother Piers Anthony
20. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince J.K. Rowling
21. Life of Pi Yann Martel
22. Walk Two Moons Sharon Creech
23. Sign With Your Baby Joseph Garcia
24. Rebecca Daphne du Marier
25. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire J.K. Rowling
26. A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail Bill Bryson


BOOKS COMPLETED BETWEEN CHRISTMAS 2003 AND CHRISTMAS 2004
Not including single comic books, magazines, other periodicals, websites, previously read books scanned for plot, etc.

1. American Gods Neil Gaiman
2. The Da Vinci Code Dan Brown
3. Now Dig This Terry Southern
4. The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym of Nantucket Edgar Allen Poe
5. Children of Dune Frank Herbert
6. White Teeth Zadie Smith
7. Master and Commander Patrick O’Brian
8. The Goblin Reservation Clifford D. Simak
9. With a Tangled Skein Piers Anthony
10. The Codex Douglas Preston
11. The Picture of Dorian Gray Oscar Wilde
12. Dry Augusten Burroughs
13. The Tale of the Body Thief Anne Rice
14. The Day of the Triffids John Wyndham
15. The Lives of Dax Ed. Marco Palmieri
16. Hellboy: Weird Tales Volume One Ed. Mike Mignola
17. The Swiss Family Robinson Johann Wyss
18. A Stitch in Time Andrew J. Robinson
19. Eragon Christopher Paolini
20. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban J. K. Rowling
21. Eureka Street Robert McLiam Wilson
22. Hellboy: The Right Hand of Doom Mike Mignola
23. I’m Just Here for the Food Alton Brown
24. Millennium: The Fall of Terok Nor Judith & Garfield Reeves-Stevens
25. Flag in Exile David Weber
26. Hellboy: Conqueror Worm Mike Mignola
27. Ship of the Line Diane Carey
28. Heart of Darkness and Other Tales Joseph Conrad
29. Wielding a Red Sword Piers Anthony
30. Hellboy: Wake the Devil Mike Mignola
31. Millennium: The War of the Prophets Judith & Garfield Reeves-Stevens
32. The Adventures of Tintin: Flight 714 Hergé
33. Confederates in the Attic: Dispatches from the Unfinished Civil War Tony Horwitz
34. A Princess of Mars Edgar Rice Burroughs
35. Hellboy: Seed of Destruction Mike Mignola
36. God Emperor of Dune Frank Herbert
37. One for the Road: An Outback Adventure Tony Horwitz
38. B.P.R.D.: Hollow Earth & Other Stories Mike Mignola
39. Hellboy Junior Bill Wray, Mike Mignola
40. Clear Light of Day Anita Desai
41. Organizing from the Inside Out Julie Morgenstern
42. Hellboy: The Chained Coffin and Others Mike Mignola
43. The Years of Rice and Salt Kim Stanley Robinson
44. Turkish Fairy Tales
45. Star Wars Tales #20
46. All Creatures Great and Small James Herriot
47. Doom Patrol: Crawling from the Wreckage Grant Morrison, Richard Case



BOOKS COMPLETED BETWEEN CHRISTMAS 2002 AND CHRISTMAS 2003
Not including single comic books, magazines, other periodicals, websites, previously read books scanned for plot, etc.

1. The Golden Compass Philip Pullman
2. The Subtle Knife Philip Pullman
3. The Amber Spyglass Philip Pullman
4. King Solomon’s Mines H. Rider Haggard
5. Blue Latitudes: Boldly Going Where Captain Cook Has Gone Before Tony Horwitz
6. Interview with the Vampire Anne Rice
7. Dracula Bram Stoker
8. Best Science Fiction Stories H. G. Wells
9. Tom Sawyer Abroad, Tom Sawyer, Detective, and Other Stories Mark Twain
10. The Short Victorious War David Weber
11. Dune Messiah Frank Herbert
12. On a Pale Horse Piers Anthony
13. Guns, Germs and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies Jared Diamond
14. Logan’s Run William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson
15. Clipper of the Clouds Jules Verne
16. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix J.K. Rowling
17. One Thousand and One Arabian Nights Geraldine McCaughrean
18. All of an Instant Richard Garfinkle
19. The Agony and the Ecstasy Irving Stone
20. A Touch of Strange Theodore Sturgeon
21. From Hell Alan Moore & Eddie Campbell
22. Unfinished Tales: The Lost Lore of Middle-Earth J.R.R. Tolkien
23. Watchmen Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons
24. Mötley Crüe: The Dirt Tommy Lee, Mick Mars, Vince Neil & Nikki Sixx with Neil Strauss
25. Bearing an Hourglass Piers Anthony
26. The Lord of the Rings¬ J.R.R. Tolkien
27. Strip City Lily Burana
28. Red Planet Robert A. Heinlein
29. Field of Dishonor David Weber
30. 13 French Science-Fiction Stories Ed. Damon Knight

Fe

I've been feeling sort of weak and dizzy the past day or two. And I've been continually hungry for the last couple of weeks. I eat and feel full in my stomach. But my body doesn't feel sated. I tried to explain this to Mr. b and he joked about how my "fingers are hungry." Ha ha. I think I figured it out though; I think I'm low in iron. I ran out of prenatal vitamins in mid-December and didn't even think about starting up my old iron supplements again. When my blood work was done at the start of the pregnancy, my stores were good. The prenatals and not having a period meant that my iron levels stayed up since then. I suppose it's possible that my weird weakness is psychosomatic but I'm disinclined to believe that since I had forgotten about my vitamin needs. I found my old bottle of ferrous sulfate and took one tonight. I guess I'll just have to wait and see if it makes a difference.

My Plan B theory is that my metabolism is changing. My body went through a hell of a thing growing and carrying and feeding a whole other lifeform. And then continuing to feed it after we separated. I know I've heard plenty of anecdotes of women having radical metabolic shifts after having kids. If that's the case, I'll have to seriously reconsider my current grazing eating habits. No matter what, it's time for me to start some sort of regular exercise again. I hate when I feel sluggish due to lack of activity. And yet tonight? I watched Project Runway and ate chips. Yay me.

Half!

Today is Kirk's Half Birthday. He is 6 months old. One half. Zero point five. I can't believe he's already half. But I'm not sure if that's because the time has gone slowly or quickly. Probably a combination of the two. Still, it's a pretty awesome milestone.

Kirk decided to celebrate a bit early yesterday by doing his first proto-crawling. He was in the middle of hating on some Tummy Time when he lifted up his butt, got up on his knees, and scooted forward! Then he did it again! The third and final try he went backwards instead of forwards. But Mr. b and I were still dutifully impressed. And a bit freaked out. We need to make damn sure everything is childproofed right now. Mr. b did a major furniture rearrangement when he brought the Saturnalia tree in the house. By default, that removed a lot of non-child-safe action figures and other small items from the vicinity. Now we need to take care of stray cords, cables, and plugs. And keep the floor a helluva lot cleaner than what we've settled on up until now. And change out all the pulls on the kitchen cabinets like we've wanted to do since we bought the house. And reattach the door to the top of the stairs. Who knows what else that we just haven't noticed yet. Yes, Johnson & Johnson, you're right; having a baby does change everything.

Happy New Year!

I finally got my baby tattoo. It's the Sanskrit translation of Kirk's full name: Protector of the Church on the Hill. I've been planning on this tattoo since before I even planned to start trying to get pregnant. I didn't know what my theoretical baby would be called but I knew how I would honor the child's name. I know that people say getting tattoos is addictive but since it's been 9 years since my first, I think I'll be safe! Now I can start considering having a naming ceremony of some sort. I'm very pleased that there haven't been any parental pressures to have a baptism.

The haircut and the tattoo were funded by Mr. b's saved tip money. He wanted to pay for them as his thanks-for-having-my-baby gift. How did that tradition get started anyway? I don't know that I had even heard of it before that Friends episode. It's very sweet though and I am happy to benefit!

One last thing...

The Adventures of Baby Kirk by Mr. b

He's a growing boy

Kirk loves his exer-saucer. He's so strong. He about 80% able to sit up on his own. And he loves laying on his side. He has just discovered the crib toy attached to the slats on his crib. And he is realizing that his feet are always there, not just when he's on the changing table.

It's kind of strange comparing him to his tiny new cousin. Kirk was that small. But I don't remember him seeming quite *that* fragile. He was always strong, he just happened to also be tiny. And he was little because he was early, not because he was just little. Is it revisionist memory? But Mr. b and my sister both agree that Kirk didn't seem so frail, even when hooked up to all his hospital wires. Maybe our opinions will change when the poor little guy gets a chance to put on some weight. I'm sure he'll fill out eventually. Or else Kirk is just always going to be the bigger cousin!

Diablo and Jon: I'm so very sorry about George. How heartbreaking for you to go through another loss so soon. Like I said in my message last night, let me know if there is anything we can do. I hope Larry is coping with the loss of his buddy. Who knows, maybe he'll stop being such a douchepacker now that he's a solo kitty! I know that Sally the Squeakers Squirrel certainly came out of her shell when her oppressor, poor Mister Smoe died.

I'm a mom

I'm playing hooky today and went to get my hair chopped off. (It's being donated to Locks of Love. That strikes me as very Jo from Little Women.) I mentioned I'm shedding like a beast due to the postpartum hair loss thing. So when I went to pay, the receptionist asked, "Are you a student? No wait, you're a mom." Huh? Explain to me how those are mutually exclusive.

Kirk wasn't confused about his new mommy. I didn't know if he'd think I looked weird or something. No worries. But when I was holding him up on my shoulder, he kept trying to grab my hair. But it's not there anymore. Then he was confused!

Celebrity Babysitters!

Imagine my surprise when I'm paging through my current issue of Entertainment Weekly and I suddenly see an interview with Diablo! Fan-frickin-tastic!

Diablo and Jon stayed with Kirk on Friday night so I could go with Mr. b to his annual work holiday party. They rule. They even brought Kirk a present! (An awesome AC/DC long-sleeve T and hat set, very kick ass.) Once again we a) didn't have money to pay the babysitter (although that was waved off as nonsense because, see above about ruling) and b) didn't have any kind of snacks and beverages in the house. We really need to get this babysitter thing figured out. At least while we're still using suckers, I mean friends, we don't have to worry as much.

The holiday party was a lot of fun but Mr. b manages college kids. And I don't have a helluva lot in common with those kids anymore. I found that after a couple of hours of dancing, a little wine and some snacks, I was ready to go. Sure, one of us had to get some sleep because while we had a sitter for the night, someone had to get up with Kirk in the morning. But I also didn't mind the excuse. It was fun to see everyone but I just don't need to stay out until after bartime. Or even until bartime!

It's a rich man's world

I just wrote out checks for all the hospital bills. They'll go in the mail and I'll be done. And then they won't send me hateful reminders any more. It was really annoying that everything was billed separately--Kirk's hospital stay and my hospital stay and our regular doctor and his neonatal physician and my breast pump. It would have been so much easier if they had been consolidated. Then I would have just made payments. I mean, I could have paid off one bill, and then the next, and then the next. But "the next" would never have been happy with that arrangement. So finally I decided to just increase my bank account's line of credit and pay them all off at once.

I thought we had done a pretty good job of saving for while I was on leave. I had paid off some bills and saved up enough for a mortgage payment. But I hadn't calculated for the adjustment time when you go back to work. Like all the insurance premiums that weren't taken out of my checks, because I was on unpaid leave, were deducted all at once. And I have no paid time off left so I loose money taking Kirk to his well baby appointments and whatnot. All that has kicked my ass. Especially since I'm just now starting to get back on track and it's the effing holidays and you spend so much more money this time of year. Shitballs.

Oral Fixation

Kirk is totally teething. They still haven't busted through, but they're there alright. The 2 bottom front teeth. He loves chewing. If he's playing with my hand, he'll grab my finger or knuckle and start just gnawing away. He chomps on his toys. He constantly has his own fingers in his mouth. Oh, he still doesn't suck his thumb. He still hasn't settled on a particular digit, specific hand, or even constant number of fingers. He jams anywhere from one to four in there and starts mawing. He even chews on his forearm, especially when propped against my shoulder or when he's down for Tummy Time. This evening, while Mr. b was changing his pants and getting him ready for bed, I noticed a strange red splotch on Kirk's right arm. He totally gave himself a hickey!

Firsts!

This Sunday was my first choir concert of the season and almost my whole family came. There was a very full house, in a church that seats a thousand, and many of the attendees were kids and babies. I could still pick out the sound of my own son from many aisles behind me, over the rest of the noise. Just like the penguins in that penguin movie!

When I got done singing, I greeted my posse. Kirk was wearing only one sock. Mr. b has no idea when the other one got lost but we didn't find it anywhere. So that's the end of the cute brown socks he got as a gift from his little buddy Henry's mom! My dad sagely predicted that it is only the first of many mysteriously lost socks.

Kirk was sick with a cold Mr. b shared. So was I but I could at least sing through it. (Mr. b works with college kids. They get sick as often as pre-schoolers.) Monday was the first time, of what will undoubtedly be many days, I took off work to stay home with a sick kid. Auntie G told Mr. b that she always kinda liked sick days because then O was all cuddly. That's how Kirk was. He wouldn't even sleep on his own. I held him for 2 hours for his afternoon nap.

We went out for some dinner after picking up Kirk from Auntie Daycare yesterday. Kirk had just had a formula bottle before we left but became noticably thirsty while we were eating. So, we ordered some apple juice from the bar for him. That was the very first time he's ever added to our restaurant bill.

Baby Boom

Saturday night I went to a holiday party by myself. It was kind of weird. I mean, Mr. b and I have always had pretty much the same friends so we could always go to shows and parties and stuff together, hang out apart during the event, and then go home together. But we didn't manage to get a babysitter. Planning for a babysitter is turning out to be really hard. I don't want to just always call Grandma. I mean, she has a long way to drive and I don't want to put much stress on her because of the MS and I just don't want to take her for granted. But there's so much crap going on this month and there's no way we're going to manage to find sitters for every single event. So, since Mr. b had been out the night before, it was my turn.

Holiday parties 5 years from now are going to be a rather different matter. At that one rather small gathering, there was the husband who had just been at birth class all that day and his wife was too exhausted to come to the party. There was another couple who had scored Grandma-sitter at the last minute and are now expecting their second. There was the husband who announced his wife wasn't attending due to morning (evening) sickness! Squeeee! And, not to be left out, the wife that declared she and her husband were going to start trying in the summer.

I guess it makes sense that we're now in the phase of our lives when everyone starts to procreate. A couple of years ago we attended like 500 weddings. It's just a bit odd because Mr. b and I were married for such a long time before we got around to having a kid. We were the only married couple in our group of friends for years and years. So it was an adjustment to just no longer be the only marrieds. Now that everyone else is catching up, and then getting knocked up in a traditionally timely manner, we're just not ahead of the curve any longer. Although I do still hear from certain girlfriends that I broke the seal, so to speak, and they figure if I could do it, I who was always vocally terrified of being preggers, then they could do it, too.

New babies are small

Kirk's new cousin Lukas was born yesterday morning! (Kirk and Luke. I know.) He was 1 week late which means that he had an extra 4 weeks of womb time on Kirk. And he was still only 3 ounces bigger than Kirk was--5# 7oz! So tiny. It's only been 5 months and I still couldn't believe that Kirk was ever that tiny. Tinier! Holding Lukas last night, he just weighed nothing in my arms. Kirk is now a Big Boy. Automatic graduation. Crazy.

I got home from the hospital and pulled out all of Kirk's preemie and under-7-pounds clothes. I didn't think they'd ever get used again. I mean, even their doctor was estimating Lukas would be at least 7 pounds. Of course I won't be able to pass along the cute sailor outfit Morrigan got Kirk, since it's way too summery for December in Minnesota.

I made my SIL give me the full labor story. It was interesting to hear the slight similarities and major differences between our experiences. She was also tensing her thighs during the contractions but she wasn't ever able to break free of doing that. They gave her a different initial drug than they gave me. She didn't have an IV in at first, which is why they gave me the Nubain. But after the pill they gave her didn't help, they gave her a shot of morphine in the ass. Which also didn't work. So she ended up with an epidural, which took 2 tries to get in. And it's a damn good thing she had that because when they went to do the episiotomy, Lukas shot out, tearing her. She said it took almost an hour to stitch her back up. Yikes. I am very pleased to have had the episiotomy now. Sure, I can still feel a difference where I was cut whenever we start having sex. But the other option would have been tearing. No thanks.

Kirkiversary

One year ago today I peed on a stick and found out I was pregnant. Hard to believe.

Last night we had our very first non-family member babysitter. And it was the first time someone other than Mommy or Daddy put Kirk down to sleep for the night. Mr. b was more nervous about leaving than I was, I think. Our friend's fiancée babysat for us. I'm glad it was a friend, instead of a 13 year old, for our first time out. Apparently Kirk was a good boy (show off) and didn't even fight going to bed. She even gave him cereal--which I totally gave her a pass on! It was just a great experience and I'm so thrilled she was willing to do it. She wouldn't even accept payment, which unfortunately means we still don't know how much to pay babysitters....

Of course being out for fancy dinner with Mr. b's business associates means I went to bed in a wine haze. And then Kirk woke up at 4:00am. Sigh. But it's nice being able to drink wine again. I had a glass with Thanksgiving dinner and it was the first time since early last December that I had anything alcoholic at all. I am a total lightweight now. Which I guess means I'm a cheap date!

Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater

Kirk ate this pumpkin. Well, not all of it obviously. But his first non-cereal food was puree of this very pumpkin he helped his daddy pick out back in October. I was processing the pumpkin for my own cooking plans (pumpkin cream pasta sauce tonight--delicious!) and figured we might as well see if he liked it. Plain pumpkin is very bland so there were no taste issues. Kirk ate it up yum. I filled up an ice cube tray (thanks for the tip, womba) with some of the puree as well so that Kirk can have pumpkin later in the year, too. I'm officially convinced. Making your own baby food is easy. Now I just need to get my own blender since I'm borrowing one from Mr. b's aunt for my pumpkin projects. In the meantime, I have tons of commercially prepared foods, all three stages. My co-worker gave me everything her son never got around to eating in each phase.

Kirk's poops are changing. Oh, he's still only going every 2 or 3 days. But he's starting to poop out actual turds. Mr. b didn't believe me the first time but he saw the baby duke with his own eyes today. I'm sure it's because of the change in Kirk's diet. But I'm concerned about constipation and so now I need to make sure he gets enough juice and water. There's certainly fiber in homemade pumpkin sauce!

All this eating while sitting up is making a lot more dirty laundry. Kirk actually needs bibs now and the ones he wears are rarely re-usable without being washed again. He likes putting his fingers in his mouth when there's still food in there, then putting his slimey fingers all over his pants and head. And his spit-ups are more interestingly colored than just formula and milk spits.

Body Image

I just noticed that the tips of my nipples are really dry and cracked. When I brought it up to Mr. b he said he noticed that about a week before. They seriously look like they should hurt but they don't at all. Did I really have calluses from the limited amount of breast feeding that my little crappy nurser did? Apparently. For about a week after Kirk had his last boobie feeding I could still squeeze out a couple of drops of milk. I tried the other night and got nothing. So that means I'm officially out of the "if you are pregnant, may become pregnant, or are nursing" side-effect category. I think my boobs feel different, too. I asked Mr. b about that and he said that they'll "never" be the same again. Great. Just what I was looking to hear, buddy. I'm not sure if they'll go back down to pre-pregnancy teeny weeny size. None of my old bras fit yet. What I really need to do is go in for a proper bra fitting. I've never had one in my life.

And then I need to start seriously working on the pregnancy weight. I went up 2 pants sizes and 1 shirt size when I was buying back-to-work clothes. I honestly don't care about clothing sizes though. I just want to be fit again. And I don't feel like I am anymore. I know the middle of the holiday season is probably the worst time of year to try to combat unnecessary weight though. I just need to start doing daily sit-ups to try to take care of the below-belly-button pudge that remains of my preggo belly. And figure out the best time of day to get back to riding my stationary bike. Now that Kirk is big enough for his exer-saucer, which he loves, I can have him hang out in there next to me while I ride. Mommy needs some aerobic activity. I know it's vain but I don't want to be like the rest of my extended family that all totally porked out after having babies. Sure, some of them were already solidly on that path pre-kids. But I still don't want to go that way.

Chow Time

Since I had a long weekend due to Thanksgiving, I decided it was time to introduce Kirk to twice-daily cereal chow. So he's now eating some in the middle of the day as well as before bedtime. He is a messy man. He thinks that cereal time is an interactive sport. I warned my sister when I brought her a box of rice cereal and some spoons this morning. Should be interesting to hear her report when I pick him up. But she noticed that he's definitely already used to having more food in the middle of the day now. Yesterday, since I forgot to bring her her own box, Kirk sucked down way more formula bottle than normal. He's also got even more variety to his diet. I gave him some baby oatmeal a couple of times this weekend and he liked it as well as the rice. And he notices zero difference between apple juice and white grape juice. But hooboy does it all help to increase the stinkiness of his poops!

I have to wonder if all this new influx of calories is helping with his development. He's still not fond of Tummy Time but he's doing so much better at it. He really lifts himself up high. He bats at toys in front of him and looks up. And rolls over on to his back. My sister just called to report that he had done that again. Apparently Kirk is as shocked by the sudden change of scenery as he is proud of himself. When he rolled over the first time (without help or being propped on a small pillow) this weekend Mr. b and I erupted into cheers and applause. What a good boy.

Thanksgiving

I am thankful for not being pregnant. Sure, I still haven't had a "real" period, like before I was pregnant, but I definitely know for sure that I'm not pregnant now. I have to wonder at what point that monthly feeling of relief will end. Two years? More? I mean, now that Mr. b and I have admitted to each other that we do want Kirk to have a sibling at some point, when is "at some point"? I can't imagine being pregnant again already. I would be beyond depressed. And I think I would feel guilty. I have so many friends that have been trying for a while, sometimes a long while, or have had to result to extreme measures. So if I went and got knocked up again, already, so easily, as an accident, I would feel bad. I know it was only for a short time, owing to how quickly I did get knocked up after going off the pill, but I remember that feeling of disappointment when I got my period. It's strange to contrast that with the relief I now feel. So this year, I am thankful for my husband and my son and for not having a bun in the oven.

Feet & Cetera

I finally clipped Kirk's toenails tonight. I can't believe how long they had gotten. I felt like such a bad mom for letting that happen. I had to really struggle to hold his foot still long enough to get at each nail. When I do his fingernails, I wait for him to fall asleep so he's not busy wiggling. But he's typically either wearing socks or footie pajamas so that's not really an option for his toes. Naturally he had a short snooze not long after I finished fighting to get his claws clipped.

His feet seem to already be on the stinky and clammy path. Poor buddy. Mr. b's brother has gross feet like that. Hopefully they won't end up that bad.

At least we don't have to deal with getting his dumb foot cast. That's what we called his bent foot when he was first born. It was the least of our worries those first few weeks. When I finally got around to trying to set up a consultation with a pediatric orthopedist, her assistant needed to figure out how urgent this issue was. I emailed her a more current picture for comparison and woo hoo! His foot is officially just fine!

We also don't have to worry about his belly button anymore. It was looking all weird for a while there. It was dark brown and sticking out really, really far. I had thought it meant he was going to be an outie but it was really out there. Doc had said it was a common thing, an umbilical hemorrage. She said it would get worse before it got better. But it must have already been at "worse" because it's just kept on getting better. It's still dark, but at least it's on its way to being a proper innie.

Of course Kirk totally has a flat head. He managed to avoid the squished skull by being so little when he got borned. But between babies sleeping on their backs and him hating on Tummy Time, he totally has a flat head. Apparently his cousin had a flat head, too. My SIL swears she can still see where it was. But everyone else thinks it rounded out quite nicely. And Doc said Kirk's would normalize soon enough.

The Idiot Box

I'm finding that my television viewing habits are changing now that I'm a working mother. It's not even that I'm watching more child-safe programming, though I can definitely feel that coming. (Thankfully both Mr. b and I have always been fans of cartoons and kids shows in general. We've forever been the weird old people sans children at movies like Sponge Bob.) My appointment TV is lessening. And the shows that I still need/want to watch, I watch less carefully. I can remember when Auntie G first had O. She had tons and tons of appointment shows. But suddenly she stopped watching, even the ones she was most addicted to. I didn't understand why she didn't just tape them and watch after O went to bed. Now it makes sense. There just isn't time. And it just doesn't matter as much. I've already dropped Desperate Housewives from my rotation. It's on at 8 o'clock. That's when I'm either getting Kirk ready for bed or putting him down. And even though I'm still completely hung up on Lost, also on at 8, I find that the TWoP recaps are good enough to fill me in on the details I've missed. We'll see if the trend continues this January when 24 and all the Skiffy shows restart....

Hair Police

The shedding is in full swing. I think it started about 2 weeks ago. It wasn't entirely sudden, but it wasn't gradual either. It's certainly not at Chernobyl levels or anything, but it is alarming how much hair is in the drain after a shower. I'm cleaning off my brush head twice a week. It's a good thing I was warned about the post-partum hair loss, that's for sure. And it started at about 4 months, just like thinga told me. I wonder how long it lasts?

I was a shedder before I got pregnant, and I continued to shed a bit during the pregnancy. But this has gotten ridiculous. I find my hair on everything. The other day Mr. b called out from changing Kirk's pants to say that there was a hair on his butt!

I think I need to chop off my hair. It is continuing to grow at an extremely fast pace and is so long it almost covers my nipples. I like having short hair during the winter because then it doesn't get caught up in my collar and hat. (Conversely, I like long hair in the summer because then I can put it up and keep it off my neck.) Kirk is so good at grabbing now that I'm constantly having to pry great handfuls of my hair out of his hands. It really starts to hurt if he's pulling too hard!

Beautiful Dreamer

Last night as I was getting ready to go to Mr. b's gig, Kirk woke up shrieking. It was the strangest thing. He had only gone down about a half hour before and suddenly he sounded like he was in pain or terror or something. Like he had a nightmare. My brother and sister-in-law were over to stay with him while we were out and so they fetched me stuff--bottle, pacifier--as I calmed him down. My SIL thought that maybe it was just a dream period. That he's now old enough to notice that he's having a dream in the first place. I buy that. Dreams are trippy. That'll freak your shit out if you don't know what's going on.

Incidentally, my SIL is now more pregnant than I was when I had Kirk. That kind of freaks my shit out.

I sometimes feel bad that Kirk has to sleep by himself. That he doesn't have anyone to cuddle with or keep him warm. I've shared a bed with Mr. b for over 12 years. It always seems lonely to me when I'm sleeping by myself. And yet, we're no longer of a culture where siblings share even a room, much less a bed. So he'll go on sleeping all by himself until he grows up and meets his mate.

Dinner and a show

Kirk gets really super fussy when he's eating cereal. I'm not sure if it's because it's new. Or because we tipped his highchair to a slightly more upright, and less low-rider, angle. Or because he doesn't like the taste of rice cereal. Or the texture. Or it's so much harder than bottle. Or whatever. But he gets all bent. Yet if you distract him while he's eating, then he's fine. So feeding him has turned into a two person activity. One of us spoons in the chow and the other shakes a rattle off to the side and sings and just generally makes a lot of noise. Kirk will then eat really well!

We were joking the other day that he's a vegetarian. Because he's only had milk, formula, rice cereal, and apple juice in his life. Could he be considered a vegan? I know milk's a dairy product and all but it comes from a willing supplier. I always thought that vegans were all about "slavery of animals" and that kind of crap. Eh. Whatever. Mr. b will have Kirk eating ham paste before the year is out.

I've started prepping our own meals the night before. Like last night we had the lasagna that I had built on Wednesday night. There's just not enough time to cook when I first get home!

Dairy Queen

Doc wasn't kidding when she said the normal birth control pills would dry my milk right up. I was down to nursing Kirk only once a day by this week. On Tuesday, I didn't nurse him at all. It felt very weird to have him at the boob again last night. Like it had been an exceedingly long time. I'm skipping today again and we'll do boob tomorrow. I can't imagine that there'll be much of anything being produced for much longer.

The thing is, there's not even really much time for nursing. I only have a few short hours to spend with my baby when I get home from work. And frankly, I'd rather play with him than just sit, reading a magazine or watching reruns of Stargate, while he toys with nursing. Besides, feeding Kirk rice cereal takes a while, too. So really, I'm just swapping out one lengthy feeding option for a new one.

Shots!

Kirk got his 4-month shots on Friday. He screamed louder and cried longer than last time. He was totally bitchy all weekend long. He did the same sleep-constantly-and-eat-tons that he did last time. Which means that while we could have relaxed, productive days because he's sleeping and not demanding to be played with, we had to get up several times at night. Even this week so far, despite his improved disposition, he's still getting up twice a night. Which sucks.

Kirk is now 24 inches long, an even two feet. He weighs 15# 7.5 oz. Mr. b was hoping he'd hit 17 pounds because that's how much he weighed at his 4-month appointment. Doc swore that Kirk will stop hating Tummy Time as much from now on and doesn't think he's teething yet, though my sister is still convinced that he is. Doc also discovered a mysterious burn/scratch/owie mark on my poor baby's ankle. For the life of me, I have no idea what caused it. My best guess is that he got a rope burn type thing when he was flailing and must have gotten his leg caught on something? I don't know. It was just horrible for that split second when she was sizing us up to see if we were those seemingly normal people that do horrible things to their kids. I know she didn't really think that, but she had to go there since she's a doctor.

We got the go ahead to start Kirk on rice cereal and also apple juice. He's been doing very good with the whole eating-cereal-from-a-spoon thing, especially considering he's never done it before. In his life. He definitely keeps getting better with each attempt. He's not so sure about apple juice though. Doc said to give him half juice, half water. Kirk makes this hilarious face when he tastes it. Everything about it is wrong to his experience. It's the wrong temperature, it's the wrong consistency, it's the wrong flavor. But he doesn't *hate* it. He's just got to get used to it.

Miscellaneous Ponderings

Today is Kirk's 4 month birthday. Or, as Mr. b puts it, he is now a 4-month-year-old. When do people stop telling their kid's age by weeks and switch over to months only? Kirk is 17 and a half weeks old. I kept track this long because I read somewhere that the main SIDS window is 4-16 weeks. I am glad to be out of it finally and safely. It was hard to suppress the paranoia since Kirk had troubles with breathing which started his long stay at the hospital when he was born. I also had read that the current SIDS theory was something to do with lack of development. So as long as he was constantly adding to his bag of tricks, I felt better. But realistically, I will be worrying about my son's safety and well-being for the rest of my life. I just need to avoid giving myself a heart attack from it, unlike my dad's mom.

Kirk does a great job with grabbing stuff. He does it purposely and with each hand. He can grasp more than just soft things like fabric and hair and has moved on to the plastic rings on his favorite toy. I feel like he is somewhat favoring his left hand. When can you tell a child's handedness? Mr. b is left handed. I am both handed. (No really. I switch hands when I put on eye make-up and stuff like that.) All the men in Mr. b's family are lefties. My uncle is. I have a vague memory of my baby brother favoring his left but not so much that he's not "right handed" now after school and whatnot. Is handedness genetic?

Kirk has been putting more and more stuff directly towards his mouth. I know that a baby's tongue is his tricorder. But he seems to be trying to chew and not just explore. He still doesn't suck his thumb or finger; he is turning out to be a knuckle sucker. My sister says that she thinks he's got teeth forming. His gums do seem to have a slight shape in the front. I hope teething isn't too bad.

We think Kirk is ready for his first go at solid foods. Or rather, baby rice cereal mush. Funny that that counts as "solid". We've been waiting to double check with Doc at his 4-month appointment on Friday. Kirk sometimes just seems like he's not interested in bottle, even though he's clearly hungry. He sort of gnaws on the nipple. But maybe that's just the tooth thing? It'll be interesting to find out just how much nastier his poops are when he's not just ingesting liquids. People keep warning us about that. Good thing he only poops every couple of days.

Trick or Treat

It makes sense that a pirate and a witch would spawn a Sith lord.

Kirk wore his dinosaur costume the day before Halloween.

We had so many hand-me-downs to bring home from Texas that they had to give us another piece of luggage to check! This mirror has really helped make Tummy Time be slightly more tolerable.

Besides his black cat pajamas and My First Halloween shirt, Kirk was also wearing his Little Devil outfit all throughout October.

It's the tail that makes it.

No visit from Aunt Flo

I just talked to Doc about my pills. I'm switching to my old ones when this current pack runs out this weekend. I had been trying to hold off because apparently regular birth control pills dry up your milk. There was no mention in any of the preggo and baby lit about how to quit nursing. Everything is so focused on starting nursing. I would have no idea how to step down gradually. I mean, I've been trying to wean however seems logical to me. But I'm just winging it. Since Kirk has always been such a crappy nurser, and I'm back to work, this seems like as good a time as any to quit. As much as I like nursing him when he's doing it right, it's just been such a fight to keep it up. Half the time he'd rather have a bottle. And when he does want some boob, like when I first get home from work, I'm so starving that I'm sitting there with him, wishing he'd hurry up so I could have some dinner. And if he gets up in the middle of the night, it sure goes a lot faster to just give him a bottle and then let us both get back to sleep. Not that I'm trying to justify this. I made the decision several weeks ago and have just been waiting patiently for the end of this pill pack.

I'm also sick of not knowing if I should be paranoid about getting pregnant again. I have never been this terrified of getting knocked up before in my life. I know what it entails now. I'm not ready to do it again. But abortion would not be an option for me. I don't think any woman could possibly terminate a pregnancy (excepting extenuating circumstances of course) after already giving birth. I know first hand that it's a life in there. So for my choice, it would be, "Holy crap, I'm having another kid already. This sucks ass. I'm just getting to know my baby." I was very glad when Doc reiterated that she's never had a patient get pregnant while on the nursing mother version of the pill. I asked her if I was supposed to get my period and she said that most of the time you just spot irregularly or have nothing at all. I've had nothing at all for 6 weeks, and just spotting prior. Apparently that will continue for the first month or so after I switch to my normal pills. So no need to freak out any time soon. Thank the gods.

It's good to be back home again.

Kirk did even better on the return flight on Monday. It was an afternoon so I was worried that he might be up and fussy. He was talking really loudly when we first boarded (much to our amusement but I suspect strangers don't find it nearly as cute) but quieted down after lift off. He fell asleep for the remainder of the flight. Unfortunately, it was a much smaller plane so we didn't have a seat between us to lay him on and everything was much more cramped and uncomfortable.

I even changed a diaper on the plane! Kirk pooped in the airport just as the plane was boarding. We got on right away and I went straight to the tiny bathroom. Then I discovered I had forgotten to refill the diaper bag butt wipes container. There was one left so I just had to use airplane bathroom paper towels for the majority of the poo and save the wipe for the final cleansing pass.

Kirk was extra bitchy in the car on the way home from the airport. Not that I blamed him. But the second we walked in the door, he quieted down. I pulled him out of his seat and he started grinning. He saw his best friend, Mr. Ceiling Fan, and he starting smiling and laughing. He *knew* he was home. He was in a fantastic mood for the rest of the night. Then in the morning he was all smiles still. My sister said that yesterday was the most fun she's ever had with him. He was talking and smiling and giggling and just generally sunny and great the whole day. He's obviously happy to be home and back to his regular routine.

Deep in the Heart of Texas

Basically my in-laws flew us down to Houston for the priveledge of babysitting. So Kirk, along with his cousins, stayed with Grandma and Grandpa while Mr. b, his brother, his brother's wife, and I all went to NASA for the day on Saturday. Of course we bought Kirk a "My Little Rocket Scientist" onesie and a rubber duckie in a space shuttle! Then we went out for very expensive dinner on the Kemah boardwalk. By this time, with the cool breeze coming in off Galveston Bay, my boobs hurt. Stiff nipples are extremely unpleasant when you're a nursing mother. And we had been gone so long that Grandma was putting Kirk to bed. I had to pump when we finally got back. It was the first time we had been out so late that Kirk was already asleep for the night.

There was another unfortunate first while we were down there. Sunday morning we were laying in bed, catching up on our Kirk time missed out on the previous night. Then Mr. b totally clocked the baby in the head with his elbow. The howling shriek of pain was unlike anything I've ever heard. It was even worse than when he got shots. I've been expecting something like this for a while now. Kirk gets his flailyness from his father. I can attest, through much personal experience, that it hurts like a bitch when you're on the receiving end of one of Mr. b's limbs. Of course he felt so awful I couldn't rub it in much. I did reiterate that that was why I don't let him sleep with the baby, however.

Leavin' on a jet plane

We flew to Texas this morning. Kirk did a great job. We got shepherded through security because of having a baby with us. He had still been asleep until that jostling. I was trying to keep from feeding him until we were taking off so he'd have sucking and swallowing to help with his ears popping. He was too hungry though so I nursed him in public for the first time. The gate on the opposite side of the terminal was closed so I just went and sat in the back so I wasn't too conspicuous. When we were boarding the plane I kept wondering if we were getting dirty looks from our fellow passengers. "Oh crap, sure hope I don't have to sit next to the baby." A co-worker had suggested giving him some Tylenol while on the taxi-way so I had it in the diaper bag but decided against using it. I gave Kirk a bottle as we started lifting off and by the time we reached cruising altitude, he was passed out again. He slept on the seat in-between us for pretty much the entire flight. He started waking as we were on our descent so I gave him his pacifier. He only fussed a little bit as we were going down. My ears always hurt more on the way down, too. One of the ladies sitting in front of us said that she was really impressed with how well he did. It was quite an eventful day.

Auntie Daycare

I really dislike driving. I hate driving during rush hour. Sometimes I like to blame it on my high school friends, who didn't bother to get their licenses and so were driven around by little ol' me. My sister lives across town but thankfully I've found a decent opposite-of-commuter-traffic route to take on the mornings when I drop off Kirk. There is no such route in the afternoons. And while I know that my sister is charging us a ridiculously low rate, holy crap we're going through gasoline like never before.

I'm sure at some point the inconvenience will outweigh the advantages and we'll have to find a closer daycare. But right now, I can't even imagine that. Kirk loves his auntie and his cousins and is loved in return. There is nothing better than that for childcare. My sister spoils her nephew--because she can--and also takes requests. For instance, I've asked her to make sure that he gets some Tummy Time everyday. She takes him with when running errands or picking up her girls from school, so it's more like regular life than institutional care.

We can also totally fuck with the schedule. Mr. b works different hours from week to week, day to day. My sister has no problem with us dropping off and picking up at different times. We also have to work around her soccer coaching schedule and so sometimes she'll just drop Kirk off with us. You can't get that kind of service from a fancy daycare center! Or at least, not one that's in my price range.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I'm so tired right now I feel insane. Kirk had a very sleepy day yesterday. Even his cousins effing with him wasn't enough to keep him awake. And he went to bed at 8:30, about an hour earlier than his current average. So, as I was expecting, he woke up at 3:00. He fell back to sleep but could I? No. Of course not. I'm so exhausted my legs ache from lack of sleep. I guess Kirk just didn't want me to take his sleeping throught the night for granted.

Rule of Acquisition 59

Even more annoying than unsolicited advice about pregnancy is advice about breast feeding. Once again, people seem to forget that every human and every situation is unique. Instead of just sharing their experience, they demand you try it their way. And the strangest thing is, it's not just women! No amount of explaining how difficult it was to get Kirk to do even the little bit of nursing that he is doing will get these Nipple Nazis (I stole that one from womba) off your case. Thankfully, since I've been back to work, I'm finally encountering women that didn't even bother to nurse. Or those that were fully weaned by the time they finished their leave.

Naturally, now that I'm planning to quit nursing him by the end of the month, Kirk is finally latching on without the shield. Figures.

Even more annoying than unwanted advice about breast feeding is advice about baby care. Once again, the individual nature of the situation is ignored. We went to a wedding on Friday. Kirk was a hit in his Darth Vader suit. And there was this old Eastern European man at the table next to us that kept harassing Mr. b and I about holding Kirk's head. Even though Kirk can hold his head up on his own. This old guy dogged us all night long about how we weren't giving him enough support. He was convinced Kirk was going to snap his neck or bash his head against something. What, since he was always being held by someone, I have no idea. The crank wouldn't be swayed by logical arguments, about how the baby's age doesn't matter only his development, how our doctor isn't concerned. He was right and we were wrong. Tellingly, however, when his wife was holding Kirk, and not supporting his head because he doesn't need it, he didn't say anything.


Look close, there's Diablo and Jon!

What an incredible smell you've discovered!

When Kirk was in the Level II nursery we had to use this foam hand cleanser before even setting foot in the place. It had a very particular, though not unpleasant, smell which I came to associate with my new baby. When we went to visit the nurses the other night, Mr. b started playing with the foam since it was right there. Smell really is so evocative. As soon as the scent hit my nose I was right back to that awful first week when we couldn't even take our son out of the nursery.

Currently I associate the smell of Dreft--and dried on spit up--with Kirk. I bought a box when I was washing all his clothes in preparation for his arrival. I'm still using the same box and don't plan to buy another one. If he was sensitive to regular laundry detergent we would have noticed by now. It's not like I wash my own stuff in Dreft. But I know that I'll still think of babies whenever I smell Dreft-washed clothing.

I had refrained from wearing perfume while I was on leave. I wanted Kirk to be able to learn the smell of his mommy, not Chanel No 5. I didn't know if he would be confused or repulsed or something when I started wearing it again but so far he doesn't seem to care at all.