No visit from Aunt Flo

I just talked to Doc about my pills. I'm switching to my old ones when this current pack runs out this weekend. I had been trying to hold off because apparently regular birth control pills dry up your milk. There was no mention in any of the preggo and baby lit about how to quit nursing. Everything is so focused on starting nursing. I would have no idea how to step down gradually. I mean, I've been trying to wean however seems logical to me. But I'm just winging it. Since Kirk has always been such a crappy nurser, and I'm back to work, this seems like as good a time as any to quit. As much as I like nursing him when he's doing it right, it's just been such a fight to keep it up. Half the time he'd rather have a bottle. And when he does want some boob, like when I first get home from work, I'm so starving that I'm sitting there with him, wishing he'd hurry up so I could have some dinner. And if he gets up in the middle of the night, it sure goes a lot faster to just give him a bottle and then let us both get back to sleep. Not that I'm trying to justify this. I made the decision several weeks ago and have just been waiting patiently for the end of this pill pack.

I'm also sick of not knowing if I should be paranoid about getting pregnant again. I have never been this terrified of getting knocked up before in my life. I know what it entails now. I'm not ready to do it again. But abortion would not be an option for me. I don't think any woman could possibly terminate a pregnancy (excepting extenuating circumstances of course) after already giving birth. I know first hand that it's a life in there. So for my choice, it would be, "Holy crap, I'm having another kid already. This sucks ass. I'm just getting to know my baby." I was very glad when Doc reiterated that she's never had a patient get pregnant while on the nursing mother version of the pill. I asked her if I was supposed to get my period and she said that most of the time you just spot irregularly or have nothing at all. I've had nothing at all for 6 weeks, and just spotting prior. Apparently that will continue for the first month or so after I switch to my normal pills. So no need to freak out any time soon. Thank the gods.