Tuesday, May 03, 2005

I am so fuckin' unstable right now. Yesterday I was unbearably grouchy all day. I was warned by womba that my temper is only going to grow shorter as I become more and more physically uncomfortable. I don't know if he's psychic or if it's just a coincedence but I had a total middle-of-the-night freak-out last night. I've been experiencing a strange sort of insomnia off-and-on for a while now. I can fall asleep just fine initially but then when I get up to pee, I often can't fall back to sleep. I end up spending sometimes hours tossing and turning before managing to get another hour or two before my alarm goes off. Last night Mr. b was still up drinking when I woke up. I freaked out on him but really, it's more than just being married to an alcoholic. There's just Too Much. I still think about poor little Tron. My father-in-law is in prison. My job is driving me nuts. We're being suckered into new software best described by quoting Norm McDonald, "Happy birthday Jesus. I hope you like crap!" I'm sick and tired of being pregnant. No one wants to talk about anything except my pregnancy. I'm terrified of childbirth. We have so much left to get done before baby time. I slept for most of last weekend and I really thought I was feeling better. But it was temporary. I'm becoming more and more uncomfortable while simply sitting down. My belly is always stretching one way or another. I'm too tired and lazy to do yoga to try to relieve the pressure. I get winded just going on short walks because my lungs are being so cramped by internal organs. And I still have three months left. I just don't know how I'm going to make it. I'm sitting here crying at work. That's certainly not going to help matters at all. Doesn't anyone have a magic wand?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You still have time for the hemorrhoids!

Anonymous said...

Aww, sweetie. It's OK. You're doing great, and panicking quite a bit less than I'm sure I would. And you'll make it, because you are strong and smart. Also, because you have very little choice at this point. :)

Just think, in the Mirror Universe there's a version of you who is evil, not pregnant, and quite probably wears a goatee.

/lis

Anonymous said...

But, with those midriff baring outfits, pregnancy would be interesting . . .