Week 20

Holy shit. Week 20? That's halfway. Scary. But then again, I didn't even know I was preggers for the first buncha weeks. So it won't feel like I've only got half left to go for several more weeks. Or am I rationalizing?

I'm feeling very tight in my belly again. Doing the prenatal yoga tape really helped with that last week so I guess I should do that again. The goofy guru lady said very soothing things about having enough room for you and your baby. Sometimes I need to hear the hippie side of it all. I guess that's the Gemini in me. Sure I'm very rational and logical and even keeled. But the other part of me is more concerned with keeping my chakras in balance and picturing my bad energy leaving out my third eye. And damn if it doesn't work. When I did the tape last time, and we got to the visualizing segment, as usual the image of Brahma meditating on the lotus came to me. But this time I got this incredible feeling of warmth and was shocked by the realization that I'm the lotus. That doesn't look right now that I'm trying to put it into words so maybe I should go back to my practice of not trying to explain my personal relationship with the universe. But it was a very powerful feeling of Life Creator. And I have to let my hidden other half out when dealing with those kinds of impressions. I have a feeling she'll be spending more time out of her room as this pregnancy goes on.