Merch time is finally here! We had to buy the pregnant Amidala. I mean, it's a pregnant action figure!

Last night we did our baby registry at Target. The girls at Mr. b's cafe are throwing him his own baby shower next month. That's so sweet! And he may very well be the only guy on the planet that would want his own shower. We went a little nuts on the RotS merch. First of all, why the hell aren't there any Yoda or C3PO onesies? There was nothing for babies. Luckily, there were a few little boy t-shirts to scan in. And we went ape in the toy section. I love those Playskool action figures for toddlers with the giant feet. And of course Child Person will need to have a copy of the Ewoks and Droids cartoons on DVD. (The TOS season box sets are important nursing equipment, too dammit. We'll need to watch something during midnight feedings!) We also found some good RotS coloring books and readers over by the "Crawlers" book section. I more accurately re-named that the "Chewers" section.

We did kind of freak out while doing the legitimate baby stuff. We were totally unprepared for the multitude of bottle brands, types, sizes. I imagine that babies make their own decisions about what they prefer there. I did have Auntie G take a look at our list and make sure we weren't missing anything obvious. We got her stamp of approval! Now we just have to wait until after the gift harvest to find out what we need to buy ourselves.

Week 27

I have noticed a pattern for at least some of my heartburn triggers. It seems that when I get morning heartburn it's when I have something particularly sweet early in the day. I typically eat your healthy grown-up type cereals so it really only comes into play if I "need" a donut. Or like this morning when I was in a rush and so had a fruity sweet granola bar at the bus stop. Thank god for my desk Rolaids! The other time is when I go to bed. And that doesn't seem to reflect if I had a late snack or not but rather the simple act of laying down. And that's why the bottle of Rolaids resides on the bedside table instead of in the medicine cabinet.

Today is apparently Bring Your Child to Work Day. A couple of my smart-ass co-workers have been teasing me and asking if I remembered to bring my son!

My belly button still hasn't popped out. But it's stretching. I feel it mostly in the scar tissue at the top. That's where my belly button ring was pushed out 12 years ago. My sister claims she kept her piercing through 2 pregnancies. Then again, hers was done professionally wheras I did mine myself with a safety pin out of boredom in my dorm room.

I am so freaking exhausted. I can't tell if it's because of the gloomy April weather or because of coming into the third trimester. I've noticed that I get winded really quickly when I take my parents' dog for a walk. And I'm tired during the day. But unlike at the beginning when I could take a monster nap and then still sleep for 10 more hours at night, I'm starting to sleep like an old man. I can't get more than 8 hours even if I try. And it's very annoying because I love to sleep. This is my last chance dammit before baby time!

Those wacky kids Diablo and Jon have done it again! They're the best. Last week I came home to a package containing a specially ordered silk screened toddler t-shirt. It says, "KHAAAAAAAN!" And since I already got one in Daddy size for Mr. b, now they can match some more. It's too bad all this cute-as-hell stuff is going to be covered in puke seconds after it's on Child Person. Just as long as we can keep it all clean enough for pictures....

I've realized I have no grasp of my own personal sense of style any more. I've been wearing hand-me-downs for too long. I went through a box from my SIL on Friday. There were definitely some items that were far too preppy for my taste, and thankfully they didn't really fit so I don't have to feel bad about rejecting them. And really, it was incredibly thoughtful of her to send them up from Texas. Mr. b's brother said that she's sending up another box soon, too. I've been putting aside all the too small/not-quite-right/&c. items to bring to my other SIL. She and my brother are expecting, too! Due December 1st.

Anyway, back to fashion. So yesterday Mr. b and his brother and I were at Target, ostensibly so BIL could buy "souvenirs" to bring home to his kids. We went by the maternity clothes section and I was cajoled into trying some things on. I'm wearing the hippie-chick dashiki lookin' shirt I picked out. But I also got this flouncy, khaki, pink and white flower printed, knee-length, silk skirt. Mr. b swears it's adorable but I can't tell. And that's when it became apparent to me that I have totally lost touch with my own fashion sense. Lord knows what I'm going to do when I have to go back to wearing normal clothes. Everything is packed away in boxes right now.

Week 26

Well, Child Person is definitely back from his little vacation. He's been rather quiet the past few days. I felt very slight movement, but only enough to keep me from starting to worry. I did remind myself that humans go through lazy periods. I know I certainly like to have phases where I don't do much more than eat and watch TV or read. But today, he's back in action and moving about a whole helluva lot.

It's amazing how quickly I've gotten used to the fetal movement. It was one of the things that freaked me out most when I thought about being pregnant. As an abstract concept, I just didn't know how I would fare with all this alien activity in my abdomen. And now it's weirder to not have it going on.

I definitely understand how lack of fetal movement is the main contributor to post-partum depression. Or at least it seems to be anecdotally. (Ladies have been very frank with me when I ask my pregnancy questions. And I seem to do better with primary sources than secondary ones like preggo-lit. Must be leftover archaeologist mentality.) A co-worker and Auntie G have both mentioned that the sadness came from physically not being pregnant anymore. I had always assumed it would be entirely hormonal but that kind of a psychological aspect makes a lot of sense to me already. You were entirely and completely responsible for growing a human and suddenly that is taken away. It's got to be quite the shock to the system.

I'm planning on being incredibly insane after giving birth. It just seems safer to assume the worst. Especially since I know how my emotional half likes to take over completely when given the chance. Ah the joys of being a Gemini.

Oh man. One of his bank ladies gave Mr. b the motherload of unsolicited preggo-myths yesterday. According to Bank Lady, sugar makes your baby bigger. The average size of a US born baby is 8 pounds but the average size of a Minnesota born baby is 9 pounds. (Cuz we're all Scandos?) The bigger the baby, the sooner it'll sleep through the night. Babies start to sleep though the night at 9 pounds.

Hilarious. I never get enough of this crap.

Wow this morning ended up being rough. I think it was just a combination of a lot of variables but I ended up on the edge of fainting. Factors involved may have been the humidity from the overnight thunderstorms, falling asleep on the bus, power being out in the building. I took the stairs up one flight and the elevators were working there so I didn't have to go the whole 6 floors. But I started feeling dizzy and seeing spots in the elevator and seriously didn't know if I could stay upright. I made it out and sat in the nearest chair for a little while before making my way to my desk. Most of the power was still out in the building so there was no air conditioning and the water/ice dispenser wasn't working. A very kind co-worker went over to the cafeteria and bought me a bottle of water. I felt discombobulated for the rest of the morning, regardless of how much water I've been drinking and how many snacks I've had. It's kind of like the low iron feeling of having my life force sucked out of me. But I can't figure out what it is my body is craving. I have most of my energy back now and only the slightest of headaches to remind me. It was all very odd. I've always been hyper sensitive to humidity. Being pregnant this summer should be, ahem, interesting.

I shouldn't have said anything. I totally jinxed myself. My hip fuckin' hurts like a bastard today. I was doing a little bit of gardening last night, just cleaning up one of the beds of hostas. I was only out there for an hour and a half. But afterwards I felt like I had been doing intense yoga for at least twice that long. I was exhausted and incredibly sore. Crouching and kneeling and bending and reaching and digging are all much more difficult activities when you've got an enlarged belly to navigate around. I find it odd that my hips took most of the pressure.

The goofy guru lady in the prenatal yoga tape talks about how you can become the most physically flexible in your life when you are pregnant. It's all due to what she calls "Relaxin". I have no idea if that's the actual name for the hormone that loosens all your joints to prepare your pelvis for the big event. When I first learned about that little bonus feature of pregnancy back in college I was double freaked out. (I learned all sorts of scary things in my many Anthro classes. Like you can not only tell a male skeleton from a female based on the pelvis, you can also make a very accurate guess on how many children she bore based on the scarring on her pelvis. Grand.) I thought for sure the hereditory loose shoulder that has caused both my dad and my brother to get a pin installed to prevent more dislocations would haunt me. But so far I honestly haven't noticed any "relaxin" effect. Not really any increase in my normal stretching range. And my hip had actually bothered me less than usual. Until now.

Week 25

I've gained another 8 pounds. It was pretty funny watching Doc when she was looking at my chart. First she was concerned that I gained so much in one month. Then you could see her doing math (7+8=a measely 15 pounds total). She changed her mind almost mid-comment and decided that I could really stand to gain even more. I'm not eating any less than I was. In fact I'm trying to not fill up on salads--but I like salads! I try to eat as much as I can when I'm at dinner but then I get all full of chow and baby. Eh. I'm not really concerned about it. Doc sure as hell isn't. Everything else is going along just fine.

She mentioned that we only have one more month before the appointments step up to every two weeks. Yikes! Already? Doc asked if I was scared. Hell yeah I'm scared! Most people think I'm scared of the child raising part. Nope. Just the child bearing part. I did remember to ask about my old hip injury. After describing it to her (danceline when I was 14, pulled the hamstring and groin muscles, also tore the tendons and ligaments, some of which pulled out chunks of bone, which never were set so I have lots of scar tissue and minimized flexibility) she figured that it probably wouldn't be a problem. I had been worried about it but figured I was being paranoid because it's on the outside of my pelvis, not inside. Doc did say that oftentimes with hip stuff you don't know that it's going to be a problem until it is. Goody. The only thing that scares me more than child birth is surgery. And you have to be awake during a C-section.

Just in time. My lovely co-worker gave me a huge bin of maternity clothes. I didn't think we were the same size but everything fit well enough. Even the pants! Sure, they're too short but I'm just going to have to ignore that for now. "Beggars can't be choosers." Mr. b scolded me for saying that in regards to all these hand-me-downs. He said that there are some things that he wouldn't let me out of the house in if I wasn't pregnant and some that I shouldn't be wearing even though I am pregnant. He got all sad about "doing this" to me when he saw what I have to wear now! Sweet Hunny. I agree, some of the stuff is pretty darn teacher-y.

I got my first dose of hot flash on Sunday. We went up north to properly bury Tron (January. Minnesota. Frozen ground.) and afterwards were walking my parents' land with the dog. I only lasted about 20 or 30 minutes before I had to go back to the house. I wasn't really tired but it was so damn humid. But when we got inside I didn't feel any better! My dad came across me propped in front of a breeze-catching open window, holding a cold soda can to my forehead. "Gee, you must be pregnant!" Ha ha Dad.

One of the manifestations of my hormonally induced hyper-emotionality is the need to have Mr. b sleep with me at night. I get all bent out of shape if he's staying up later than me for legitimate reasons or just to drink. I really freak out on him if he's still up when I wake up for my regular middle-of-the-night pee. I know it's not fair. I know I can't even really cuddle with him since I have to have a damn pillow crammed between my legs and under my belly. But I need him there with me. One of our fellow visitors at the penitentiary last Thursday was a girl who (I overheard her say) was 3 weeks away from her due date. She was huge. And she was obviously visiting her significant other. There is no way I could handle going through this without Mr. b by my side. I just keep thinking about that girl and what it must be like knowing that she'll have to deliver on her own. Who knows how long she'll have to raise their child on her own. I am so lucky to have a husband who gives a damn, who is excited about being a father, who wants to know as much as possible every step of the way.

Week 24

Mr. b figured out why Child Person was so active yesterday. He was rockin' out to Double Platinum, head bangin' and doing the Gene Simmons devil fingers. All because he got a surprise present in the mail from Jon: the KISS teddy bear onesie!! Awesome!! Man, how'd we end up with such kick ass friends? Mr. b and I even had our eye on that one many months ago, back when we first found out I was up the spout. But we decided it might be bad luck to buy something for the baby before we had even heard the heartbeat. Now I have a hankering to listen to "Hard Luck Woman". God I love that song.

I think I need another pair of maternity pants. I thought I could squeak by with the one pair and the jeans and just keep wearing my regular low-riders. And while they still fit me just fine when I'm standing, they just aren't roomy enough when I'm sitting. The low cut 'ternity pants have elastic in the waist at the back, so that makes them comfortable when sitting down. These? Let's just say I'm currently sitting at my desk with my pants unsnapped and unzipped. I have to remember to at least resnap them whenever I stand up. Thankfully 'ternity shirts are long and so hide this kind of maneuver.

Child Person's activities continue to increase. I'm trying to track it and see if he has any sort of pattern. There doesn't seem to be any real regularity during the day. But he's always moving about when I get up for my middle-of-the-night pee. So far it hasn't been intense enough to keep me awake when I go back to bed. I have Growing Stomach to thank for that. I just can't seem to get comfortable. My stomach stretches all weird and then my hip or ear (!) hurts when I lay on one side for too long. I've been keeping a pillow between my legs and sort of tucked under my belly and that helps a bit. But I wake up when I need to roll over and have to manually move the damn pillow. Auntie G said I should try one of those full body pillows. I'll have to seek one out. Even if I don't like it I can give it to Mr. b. He is a total pillow spooner so it wouldn't go to waste.

Update on various pop cultural impressions. (I'm still encountering incidences of pregitude with alarming regularity.)

I recently read The Know It All. It seemed to my pregnancy hormoned brain that the B (or C) story about the author and his wife trying to conceive was almost more important than his titular quest to actually read the damn encyclopedia. I was inordinately happy for them when they succeeded. Incidentally, it was a great book; read like a blog.

During a viewing of The Incredibles I found myself spending a little too much time thinking about Elastigirl. Specifically, how being elastic would affect her three pregnancies. And if her fetuses would be elastic while in the womb. Really, it was like Jason Lee's character in Mallrats obsessing over superhero genitalia.

While watching the last few episodes of Farscape via Netflix I kept feeling quite uncomfortable with the whole Aeryn-being tortured-for-her-fetus'-knowledge story arc. The imagery during her incarceration was harsh, yes, but I have to wonder if it would have affected me the same way had I not also been pregnant at the time.

During the last half of this season of Stargate SG-1 I spent almost as much time looking for evidence of Amanda Tapping's pregnancy as I did paying attention to the storyline. At first it was just an increase in the size of her rack. But those last few episodes, no matter what they had Sam wearing, it was plain there was a pregnancy under there. She never did get the rounded face like Rebecca Riggs did while playing Grayza in Peacekeeper Wars. I wonder how Amanda's absence for maternity leave will be explained in season 9.

Oh and Caprica!Boomer is pregnant. It'll be interesting to see how that one develops.