Just Wait Until Your Father Comes Home

It finally happened. I’d been expecting it since I was pregnant but this was the first time. Kirk being naughty and wasn’t listening to his daddy and I heard Mr. b say, "Do you want me to call your mother in here?" Yep. I’m the threat. I’m the heavy. I always knew this day would come.

Big Boy!

For the two or so weeks leading up to Kirk’s birthday I had been talking about how we were going to take down his baby crib after his party. Because then he’ll be too big to sleep in it anymore. About a week before, he started sleeping in his Big Boy Bed instead of the crib. So on Monday, Mr. b took it apart. We asked Kirk where he wanted the bed placed and so now it’s on the same wall that the crib was on.



Once that was done we tackled the toys. Mr. b sorted through everything and asked Kirk if it should stay upstairs or go downstairs. He did a really good job making decisions. I hauled everything to the basement while they were rearranging. I still need to go through the basement toys and pick out what to keep – either as keepsakes or for the next kid – and what to take to goodwill. No matter how messy the downstairs living room may be right now, Kirk’s bedroom looks fantastic! I’m sure it won’t last…



We still need to get some shelves and a bin system of some sort. At the very least, a container for all of his cars. He had been using an old wooden bath salts box. He inherited it along with all the various cars that Mr. b and I had collected ourselves over the years. But that’s not going to be big enough anymore. Not with the motherlode of Cars merch we gave him last night! His excitement and joy was overpowering. And listening to him sing “you’ve got a friend in dee” to Woody was just about the cutest thing ever.

36 Months

Three years ago today Kirk was born. It's hard to believe it's been that long already.

Apparently he told his daddy yesterday that he doesn't want another birthday, that it would "make him sick". Awww, poor buddy. But he's fine with more presents. Of course. We went down to the Death Star on Friday to hit the Disney store and buy him merch. So he'll get a talking Woody and a complete set of Cars tonight.

THREE!

We celebrated Kirk’s third birthday yesterday. I tried out a potato salad recipe using sweet potatoes on my unsuspecting friends and relatives.



I cut up and arranged a veggie tray myself and was very pleased with the presentation.



I had asked Kirk what kind of a cake he wanted and he very quickly responded "White!" Thinking that I needed to make sure I then asked him if he wanted a white, yellow, brown, or pink cake and again, "White!" So that was easy to make. I utterly failed at the decoration, however, and turned that duty over to Mr. b. Who clearly had fun with it.



Mr. b hauled out all of our various lightsabers and the kids had a great time chasing each other around and smacking each other.



Auntie C got Kirk a stomp rocket set. This meant that, despite her fancy party dress, A2 was gleefully climbing fences and rooftops to retrieve lost rockets all afternoon.



We were having so much fun we nearly forgot to have cake! The balloon candles were to match the balloons that Mr. b bought with a helium tank. The kids really loved releasing them.

Status Update

Not pregnant.

Side-Effects

Warning: The following post contains Too Much Information. Turn back now. This is your only warning.

I’ve been off the pill for two and a half weeks now and things are weird. I haven’t been able to tell if I’m experiencing side-effects from the sudden lack of hormones in my body or if there are just a plethora of coincidences going on.

I spent most of my trip to Georgia this last weekend running to and from the bathroom. Ever since France I tend to have butt issues if I drink either too much in one sitting or just a little bit, too many days in a row. So my initial guess was that the copious amount of red wine I drank at the rehearsal dinner, coupled with the two margaritas I had the night before, was coming back to haunt me. After all, I had been awakened in the middle of the night with the worst heartburn I’ve ever had. At least since I was pregnant. And naturally I couldn’t find any antacids while quietly ransacking my aunt and uncle’s house in the dark.

But unlike previous visits from José Nus after drinking too much, this wouldn’t go away. And if it wasn’t actual diarrhea, then it was ridiculous amounts of gas. And if it wasn’t gas, then it was painful cramps. What the hell was going on? I had a mere two glasses of wine at the wedding reception, and that was spread out over the course of many hours, much not-up-to-par wedding food, and not a little bit of dancing.

My mother, evil creature that she is, suggested that perhaps I was not experiencing a hormone level adjustment. She thought it was hilarious to imply that perhaps I had already gotten knocked up. Har dee har har. Not funny. Too fast! Too fast! Maybe it’s just pre-PMS. After all, I have no idea what my cycle is like without the regulation of the pill. I believe I sped up a little last time, though a pattern is obviously not made by a mere two periods. And since intestinal issues are a semi-regular early indicator for me, maybe that’s all they’re a harbinger of?

The other strange thing that happened when I went off the pill is an inability to come. I’ve always been a believer that a woman is in charge of her own orgasm. So that’s got to be psychological, right? But why? I mean, it’s not like I haven’t been preggers before. Thankfully it’s only been twice, at the beginning of the month, and seems to have stopped since then.

I don’t know how I feel about possibly being up the spout again. Already. I mean, obviously I should be grateful to be so ridiculously fertile, especially when there are so many people that have had trouble conceiving even once. And I admit that it would be kind of fun to tell my whole extended family in one fell swoop next month at the reunion. How does due date math go? February? It would be winter for sure. Gah! I don’t want to get ahead of myself. Even though I’m really not ready. And they always say you need to wait three full months after going off the pill to clear out your system, or else you’re at increased risk for miscarriage. Which I don’t know how I’d be able to handle, not to mention Mr. b.

Birthday Boy

What do you get for a three year old's birthday? We've been thinking of having a balloon theme for his party, not because of any particularly excessive attachment to balloons on Kirk's part, but rather it's an easy thing to do. Balloon's are simple party favors and I think Mr. b would like to have an excuse to rent a helium tank.

Kirk's not really old enough to want anything and he certainly doesn't really need anything. He's starting to see stuff on TV and ask for it, but he hasn't gotten to the point where he throws a fit. He'll try to sneak the point-of-sale items onto the check out conveyor belt or into the cart but doesn't notice when they don't actually make it home. He'll declare that he "has that" when he sees a toy he really likes on an ad or in a catalogue.

I've been trying to work with him on telling me what he wants for his birthday. He knows that his birthday is next (technically it's Grandpa's but since he's in Texas I guess we'll give Kirk a pass on that one this year) because it's after mine. My birthday is when it's almost hot. Kirk's birthday is when it's hot. (Again, maybe not the best explanation for a cool summer like we seem to be having but it was the best I could do all winter long as cousin after cousin celebrated their birthdays.)

So far Kirk has requested the following:

a birthday hat

Lightning McQueen cars (including Mack and "the naughty cars")

Finding Nemo jammies

And that's it. That's all I have to go on.

belsum the Vampire Reader

I’ve accidentally gotten addicted to reading vampire books. It’s no mere seasonal thing like I thought before. Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching Buffy for the first time ever? But really, these things are awesome! They’re like…the perfect smut for a sci-fi chick! And who doesn’t like that? I had previously thought there were only two choices for dirty books: literature like Henry Miller and Charles Bukowski or Harlequin bodice-ripping romance novels. Yet there’s this whole world out there!

I was looking forward to Bloodsucking Fiends since I’ve enjoyed the two previous Christopher Moore books I’ve read. It was nice to have a female vampire protagonist, Jody, for a change. And since she wasn’t centuries old it was a brand new perspective on the idea of becoming undead. There was a bit of a mystery and a bit of a love story and yet it was mostly just plain hilarious and absurd. Jody’s boyfriend, Tommy, and his friends/co-workers added a really fun and exuberant element. There’s a sequel, You Suck, which I fully intend to read, this time not just because I’m working my way through Moore’s oeuvre. Mr. b accidentally read the sequel first so I know that it will feature the boyfriend and I look forward to his perspective on becoming a vamp.

Twilight had been recommended to me a few times and I knew that it was big with The Kids. I read a review of Stephenie Meyer’s latest book and it sounded good so I figured I’d like this one. What an understatement. I completely and utterly fell in love with the protagonist, Bella, and her vampire boyfriend, Edward. There were some major changes to “standard” vampire mythology but they all fit within the confines of the world that was created. And as a romance, it was completely chaste, yet extremely passionate. I can fully understand why it has so caught on with the middle school crowd and I’m really excited that they’re making a movie. I am thrilled that there are two more books already published and at least one more in progress.

There were a lot of differences between Sunshine and the other two books. Robin McKinley created a dense and fully believable world, but it was a modern alternate universe. Whereas in the previous two vampires were secret and unknown to the outside populace, New Arcadia was still recovering from the last war with Others, vampires being the darkest of those. The technology and setting was modern, but with alt labels and names for things we have in our own world. And there’re demons and monsters and sorcerers. The complete realization of the way that magic functions within that universe reminded me a lot of the Dresden Files. There was the same dank realism, the same hard boiled edge. Though Sunshine herself is going through a voyage of self-discovery, so it also reminded me of War for the Oaks. Events and circumstances thrust her deep into the unknown, and by the end, I wanted more. In general this was a much more adult story and I simply adored it. I’m not aware of a sequel, and maybe it wouldn’t be possible to write one without diminishing some of the elements that made this book so enchanting, but I’d read it anyway.

Imagine all the Poopies

Kirk’s sense of humor and imagination has really been flourishing of late. It’s so much fun to watch happen. And it’s usually hysterical to hear.

He likes to have nouns in his favorite books replaced with “fart” or “poop”. You have to keep up the replacement while reading the whole thing and he’ll just giggle and cackle every single time. Clearly he’s going to be into Mad-Libs before too long.

When he’s being a pain in the ass and not doing something we need to have him do, it’s inevitably because whatever he’s doing – running around in circles, trying to put his diaper on over his pants – is “funny”. Except it’s not. But I’m so glad he thinks it is!

He’s begun to be more of a storyteller, too. I overheard some game he was playing in the bathtub the other day. He was the bus driver and Mr. b was the passenger and he was going on and on about needing to get to the strawberry store but oops, the bus needs more batteries. I’m not doing it any kind of justice at all. It was a lengthy one-act and it was all of his own devising.

Kirk’s been telling other people about his band. It’s called Steggy Steggy. (Or is that Steggie Steggie?) He plays guitar, his mama plays drums, his daddy plays bass, and his kitties play keyboards. His band has band practice and gigs. He sings and jumps and does headstands. It sounds quite impressive. I’d really like to see the show someday!

But my favorite thing is his caring for the mustard bottle. That’s right, a big ol’ yellow Plochman’s bottle. He would play with it in the refrigerator door, taking the little cap off and putting it back on, so when it was empty I washed it out and gave it to him as a bath toy. Then he started talking about how his mustard bottle is sick. And hungry. And sad. And tired. And he needs to keep his mustard bottle safe. We’ve put paper towel diapers on the mustard bottle. The nuturing behavior has extended on occasion to the plastic green slinky his kitties gave him for Christmas and an assortment of small plastic dinosaurs. I’ve had to actually pull out jammies and “put them on” them. He’ll then cuddle with whatever-it-is when he goes to bed at night. It’s sweet and hilarious.

Whine, Whine, Crab, and Complain

Usually I go into a black funk about once a year and usually it’s in the dead of winter. One would assume that means that it’s a seasonal thing, lack of light and warmth and whatnot. But it’s lack of friends that does it to me. And usually the dead of winter is when no one is going out. The holidays are done, everyone is broke, but we haven’t yet crossed that line where we’re all so fed up with the snow and cold that we say Fuck it and go out anyway. For some reason that didn’t really happen to me this winter. Which is odd because this was the winter that wouldn’t frickin’ end.

But I’m feeling it now. And it’s not just a lengthy separation from humans that is doing it this time. It’s a strong feeling of actual betrayal. Like I’m not worth anyone’s time and effort.

I’m expected to go to people’s events. I’m expected to care about people’s stuff. And I genuinely do care and I genuinely enjoy attending! I don’t think I’m naively overestimating my importance to my circle of friends. I know that everybody is older and busier. There are kids and pregnancies and spreading families and business trips and health issues and family drama and people have moved away and there’s career focus and fame and chores and break-ups and new loves and yardwork and home improvements and trips and surprises and real life stuff that gets in the way all the time. I love seeing how everyone has grown. I love hearing everyone’s stories, good and bad. But why am I the only one listening?

I guess it’s the concept of a two-way friendship. Who’s doing all the work? Who’s making the plans and seeing them through? Who’s putting in the effort? If it’s always in one direction, then why is it continuing? And that’s what bothers me so much this time. If it doesn’t work out, great. But that also means it’s never going to happen. Because I’m the only one that’s going to set it up or go the distance.

Is that naïve? Is that bitchy? Is that realistic? Is that pessimistic? Is that haughty? I don’t know. Maybe I’m being an elitist and setting myself apart from everyone else. Maybe I’m feeling sorry for myself and being a baby.

There’s so much talk about how the internet brings people together. And I believe that strongly. I have so many wonderful friendships that would never have been possible without email and message boards. When I was little I used to long for pen pals. The internet has certainly provided them, domestic as well as international. And the US Postal Service can likely attest to the fact that long distance sharing and gift giving has increased with those long distance relationships. But what about the local ones? What about when you stop emailing friends and expect them to just read your blog instead? What about when you won’t respond to email and communication is relegated to blog comments only? What about when it’s just easier to send a text message instead of actually showing up? What about when it’s too much trouble to change your own plans to accommodate someone that’s coming a long way? The trick with Facebook and MySpace and everything else is that we’ve all become internet friends without meaning to. We don’t actually see each other any more. Most people don’t even use the phone.

I’m certainly not excluding myself from this behavior. I’m overjoyed when I find out someone will text me back quicker than call back. It’s easier. I definitely haven’t returned the favor for people that have made the effort, whether it involves travel or a trip to the post office. I blow off parties and shows and use lack of babysitter as an excuse when I just don’t want to put in the effort. And yet I still seem to get out. Sometimes more than people than don’t have kids as their primary excuse. So what does that say about me? That I’m better than everyone else and I deserve a medal? Or that I’m more desperate and I crave the company of fellow humans and feed off companionship to function? Are they the same thing? Should I just suck it up and get over myself? Do I have an actual legitimate grudge? I am actually pretty pissed. But I’m not very good at holding grudges. It seems like a good idea until I actually see someone again. Or talk to them on the phone. Or email them. Usually email. I live for email. It’s my fault I guess. One or two close friends versus a wide circle of friends of varying closeness? I like both options. I just like having friends. And I want to know where the hell they went.

Fashion Roadkill

I am frickin’ fed up with Kirk’s refusal to wear anything besides sweatpants and long sleeved stripey shirts. Honestly. It’s ridiculous. Part of the problem is the dwindling supply. I was unaware that Minnesota had canceled Spring so I didn’t stock up on additional sweats while they were still available in stores. The Summer clothes are there but…the Summer weather is not. Kirk keeps on growing and so he’s down to 4 acceptable shirts and 3 pairs of pants. That are in constant rotation.

At first we were delighted with his preference for the sweatpants. We thought it meant he was going to start taking a more active role in his pottying since they are much easier to remove than jeans with snaps and a zipper. But nope. No luck there. And I honestly don’t know why the stripey shirt thing caught on as completely as it did, except that his daddy sure has a lot of them in his own wardrobe.

For a while now I’ve been giving Kirk a choice when it comes to the Battle of Getting Dressed every morning: jeans or khakis. “Jeans are yucky! Khakis are yucky! I want sweats!” So I give in, because it means that he’s at least out of his jammies. The next round is shirts: long sleeved or short sleeved. He is completely against short sleeves. But he was fine with them in Texas…? Next I’ll pull out two shirts that match as closely as is possible whatever clean sweats he’s in and let him decide. “NOOOO! I need a stripey!” My kid dresses like Frankenstein from Big Daddy. *sigh*

Fruits n Veggies

An interesting side-effect of being a mother is improving knife skills. As a result of providing delicious and healthy snacks for a toddler, I have become very proficient in removing the skin from an apple slice using a paring knife. I have also become adept at whittling down a full size carrot into fairly uniform sticks. My current lesson? Supreming an orange. I’ve discovered that if you do it over a bowl and then provide a straw along with the segments, then the juice will be consumed as well!

I would also like to take this opportunity to make an introduction. Mr. b: Internet. Internet: Mr. b. Please stop by. Please leave him a comment. He really, really likes comments. Or go make fun of Steve Zahn. Or at least vote for him for president.

Baby Talk

It’s been nearly three years. That’s how many bottles of Johnson’s baby shampoo we got as baby shower gifts. We’re about halfway through the final one, which is travel size so won’t last too much longer. I’m truly astounded at how long it took to get through it all! It’s going to be a little weird to pick out a new bottle. Should I stick with standard yellow No More Tears? Are there other tempting colors and flavors that will win me over? Maybe I’ll just let Kirk go for whatever Dora or Thomas or other branded, overpriced option is currently available.

Kirk’s actually been in a strange baby-reversion phase for a while. He’s *choosing* to behave like a baby. He’ll demand to be carried where he’d normally walk himself. Or he’ll decide to crawl. He wants to be coddled and cradled. He needs us to feed him his soup that he’s perfectly capable of messily eating himself. Brushing teeth, climbing into his crib, putting shoes on, everything has gone back to a desire for us to do it for him.

I’m not really sure what’s caused this behavioral back-slide. I hear about it happening to older siblings when their new sister or brother finally arrives. This just seems so much more out-of-the-blue. Could it really be because K has her 2 month old at daycare? That seems more likely than my sister’s guess of two new cousins since September of last year. But it does worry me a little. I hope it’s the standard "step backward before leap forward" that we noticed while he was much younger. In which case I definitely hope the leap forward is frickin’ potty training already dammit! Because what happens when he actually does have a new sibling in the house?

Kids Today

Sometimes the fact that Kirk is growing up in The Future really hits me. The technology divide doesn’t seem so big when you’re texting and blogging along with all the rest of the kids. But when you look at their birth dates and realize that kids not only don’t know what it’s like to not have cable, they don’t know what it’s like to not have YouTube, well, that changes things.

Kirk can request to watch something and, with very few exceptions, said request can be honored within seconds. Either it’s on DVD or VHS or else snippets can be found online with little effort. Even photography is changed. Disposable cameras are completely foreign. My nieces were perplexed about why the picture wasn’t immediately viewable long before Kirk was the one demanding, “Me see! Me see!”

The article The Longest Day really illustrates how integrated technology is in the lives of the so-called Generation Y. And while that’s an eye-opener in and of itself, Kirk has shocked me with his expectations. He’s grown up with video so commonplace that we’ll capture temper tantrums and inanities just as easily as actual milestones like first steps and first solid food. And he’s begun to request to see things that were never recorded.

I find that a startling mindset. To have your every living moment available to replay is a horror described in sci-fi novels and shown in movies. It’s the very definition of Big Brother. And for Kirk it’s beyond an expectation; he takes it for granted. As a good thing. Sure, he’s not expecting to be busted for thought crimes. He doesn’t live in the world of Harrison Bergeron. But it’s still a mind-blowing paradigm change. One that I don’t think anyone has yet postulated as a positive.

A Worthy Cause

Hi Everyone,
As some of you know, my mom was diagnosed with MS in 1986 after 10 years of suspecting something was wrong. Last year was the first year I walked with her and I intend to do it again this year. I'm a notorious procrastinator and the walk is this coming Sunday! I apologize for the short notice but donations will be taken until May 30th. I appreciate any help you feel willing to give.
Thanks in advance!


Every hour of every day, someone is diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. That's why I registered for Walk MS: Christopher & Banks Walk 2008 presented by Anchor Bank and that's why I'm asking you to support my fund raising efforts with a tax-deductible donation.

The National Multiple Sclerosis Society is a collective of passionate individuals, moving together to create a world free of multiple sclerosis. But they can't do it alone. It's faster and easier than ever to support this cause that's so important to me. Simply click on the link at the bottom of this message. If you prefer, you can send your contribution to the address listed below.

Any amount, great or small, helps to make a difference in the lives of people with MS. I appreciate your support and look forward to letting you know how I do.

P.S. If you would like more information about the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, how proceeds from Walk MS are used, or the other ways you can get involved in the fight against MS, please visit nationalmssociety.org.

Click here to visit my personal page.
If the text above does not appear as a clickable link, you can visit the web address:
http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Walk/MNMWalkEvents?px=3531245&pg=personal&fr_id=8390&s_tafId=70315

Rag Rug

I am very proud of my crocheted rag rug creation. I felt oddly close to my Scando ancestors while working on this. I think it turned out great but agree with both Mr. b and superbadfriend that it could be a bit bigger (perspective). The question is: what color next? Out of the fabrics that I have on hand, I think either light yellow, white, or sage green would be best. I am not keen on buying new cotton, since that sort of goes against the recycling type of mentality that is the point of a rag rug in the first place. But once this winter finally stops there should be some sheets or whatnot to be found at garage sales. If only the Crazy Squirrel hadn't crapped on the brown sheets I had already torn into strips before I got a chance to sew them end-to-end...

Pride

KIRK enters living room from hall.
MAMA does a Silly Mama Dance while walking over to him.

MAMA
(singing)
Who’s not wearing any pants?

KIRK
Come see!

MAMA
(still singing)
I can see your butt!

KIRK
Come see what I did!

MAMA
Show me, honey.

KIRK
In my room. Come see!

Mama hovers in bedroom doorway and peers around to the left, in front of the closet.

KIRK
(pointing)
Look!

Mama clasps both hands over her mouth and backs out, stifling laughs.

MAMA
(gesturing wildy to DADDY)
Hunnyhunnyhunnyhunny, c’mere!

Mama leads Daddy to bedroom and points to the floor in front of the closet.

DADDY
Is that poop?!

Keep Austin Weird

We went on an impromptu trip to Texas the other week. It was a lot of fun. Also incredibly hot. Kirk was excited about 1) flying on an airplane, 2) going to the Texas capitol, and 3) seeing his cousins. Heh. Mr. b’s poor mother didn’t stand a chance!



Being married to a Presidential History Nerd means a willing partner when going to lots of really cool places like the Ladybird Johnson Wildflower Center. It’s a good thing Kirk likes that kind of crap, too, or else there’d be trouble!



Screwing around in the Williamson County Courthouse ended up the highlight, oddly enough.






Kirk was pretty pissed we weren’t allowed to to inside the Texas White House during the LBJ Ranch tour.



When we got back home, Mr. b made Kirk a model Texas Capitol. Yes, that’s Princess Leia.

Letting Off Steam?

Once again, this is what happens when you have a toddler. Mr. b came up with the gloriously ingenious line and...I had to make this.

Giving the Stink Eye

OK good. So we're not bad parents. We finally took Kirk in to the doctor yesterday morning to have his eye checked out. It's been looking slightly crossed for a few months now. I called and talked to Doc about it back in...late November I think and she told me not to worry unless it seemed like it was getting worse. Well, I don't know if it was getting worse or not but more and more people noticed it. Then again, it could be because they were looking for it. My mom has been totally guilt-trip-inducing freaked out about it and passed that on to my sister and her insane MIL and just ugh! Leave us alone!

Doc called it plagiocephaly and said it's pretty common these days. You see, with all of the SIDS hysteria, babies are put down to sleep on their backs now. And that causes them to get flat heads. It also necessitates Tummy Time and causes slower crawling development. So apparently Kirk's got an asymmetrical head and one eye is literally in front of the other. Causing him to look cross-eyed when not really. She tested the eye muscles as best as she could as a GP and doesn't think there's anything else happening. We still need to take him in to a specialist (do they have pediatric optometrists?) to make sure but basically, he'll grow out of it by the time he's 4 or 5. In extreme cases the kids have to wear a helmet to reshape their skulls. But she said that she's had patients with more severe flattening than Kirk has and they haven't needed a helmet.

Doc also told us she was truly amazed at his language development for a two-year-old boy. That was nice to hear from a professional for a change, instead of "interested parties" such as grandparents. Heh.