Mixed Feelings

My dad is doing substitute daycare today. He didn't need to; the conflict my sister had was canceled. But he had the day off for it and he was super excited to see his grandson! He was just thrilled to pieces when he arrived this morning. I gave him the lowdown of Kirk's current eating and sleeping habits, demo'd the walker, and was off to work. Well, I just got a call from my sister. My dad had called her with Kirk questions. He wanted to confirm how much to feed the boy (1 jar, just like I said) and when he takes his nap (after lunch, just like I said). Dad supposedly didn't want to "bother" me at work. Like I don't fuck off whenever I need to/feel like it anyway. So I really am realing from a serious bout of jealousy right now. It's my son dammit. You ask me questions about how to raise him. Mr. b is always bummed out about how little time we get to spend with Kirk during the day and that my sister gets to see him more than we do. I'm always defending the arrangements and scheduling by pointing out that Kirk sleeps for most of the afternoon so she really doesn't spend that much time with him. And it's truly and honestly fantastic that he's cared for by someone that loves him so much when we're not there. And we have the mornings getting ready with him, which often doesn't get factored in. I admit the evenings do seem short and go by very quickly. As do the weekends. So I really don't need my dad inadvertantly stirring up these feelings of inequality that I so successfully suppress. It's not his fault; I could never say anything to him. I don't know that I'll even mention it to Mr. b. But I have to admit, I'm fighting off tears right now at my desk as I'm typing. My sister played it off as, "Isn't it funny that he called me about your son?" But it's not funny. It hurts.