It's so frustrating not being able to bring our son home. Yesterday he had his Darth Vader arm (that's what Mr. b and I called his IV) removed and they took him off the heat monitoring. So he was on track to go home today. But then this morning we found out his billirubin levels were too high so he's now in the phototherapy bin like some kind of home grown weed. And it'll be a minimum of 24 hours for this jaundice treatment. It was a bad morning for both Mr. b and I.

Emotionally, I've been mostly okay. I've definitely done some crying, and clearly the separation is adding to the normal post-partum blues. I've decided that the reward for going through pregnancy and childbirth is not necessarily the child; it's breast feeding. The view of my baby's face nestled against my skin is amazing. Sure, he hasn't really figured the nursing thing out yet since he was early. But it's already darling. I thought it would be weird to be food. But logically, the Mommy Juice is tailor made so I definitely wanted to try it. I hope he figures it out better soon. Pumping all the time is tiring. But he takes a bottle pretty well. He does best when Daddy feeds him--or Grandpa.

Nose to nose