Socializing

Kirk is destined to be The Weird Kid in school. I mean, I suppose it was sort of inevitable with us as his parents. He could have rebelled by becoming a football jock or something but that’s already seeming incredibly unlikely. I’ve noticed that he even increases his weirdness quotient when he’s around other kids he’s not very familiar with. We were at a company softball game last week and he was off playing with random stranger kids that were attached to the game at the adjacent diamond. And he was totally upping the bizarre behavior, strange voices, calling things by the wrong names, deliberately subverting the rules of their impromptu game, that kind of thing. After some tattling to us they ended up finding a rhythm and playing together nicely but it definitely took a while.

I’ve noticed that older kids tend to exclude Kirk when there’s a group of kids playing together. At daycare there’s a 5 year old boy that he just idolizes and this boy is generally nice to Kirk. Except when all the other kids are gone for the day and the only other one left besides them is the 7 year old Mean Girl. Then they are rude and mean and call him names and don’t let him play with them. I’ve even seen this happen with Kirk’s alley friend who is about to turn 6. They play together so nicely and are really great friends, running over to each other’s houses and playing in each other’s yards. But whenever any of the other neighborhood kids are involved, again Kirk ends up being left behind.

I’m trying to not get too involved in child politics. Obviously he’s going to have to learn how to fend for himself because he’ll be starting school in a year and lord knows he’ll be interacting with all kinds then. But I am also trying to make sure that we go to as many family friendly artistic and intellectual type events as possible. Like the iron pour back in July. Going to Art-a-Whirl. We’re meeting my sister for a community theater production of the Jungle Book this Thursday. We bring both kids with to drop Daddy off at gigs. I bring them to book club once a month. Basically I want him to know that there are other weirdos out there. Musicians and artists and comic book readers and sci-fi fans and boys that wear pink dresses. He may be called “nerd” already (which I think is solely due to wearing glasses) but being a nerd is a good thing.

We do need to help Kirk to understand fandom. He gets so obsessive over something and expects everybody to automatically know what he’s talking about every single time. Not everyone has seen exactly what movie or book he’s referencing. Hell, not everybody has even heard of things like Doctor Who. Most kids can’t name a single rock drummer from the 60s, much less choose a favorite one.

I’ve decided that one thing I can do is get Kirk involved in activities. Nothing major. Just community offerings like swimming lessons and karate. I’ve been talking about signing him up for something for a year now and haven’t gotten around to doing it yet. I don’t think I can put it off anymore. I certainly don’t expect or even want him to be “normal” but I do think having some “normal” interests will help to normalize him around other kids.