I’ve been feeling very disconnected lately. At the same time, I’ve been going through a self-analytical phase triggered by required career development exercises. On top of this has been all the family drama swirling about for several months. In the midst of it I realized that I need to start going to church.
Now, to those that know me that probably sounds radical. I am an avowed critic of organized religion. I do not believe in Christian dogma. I formally and officially quit the church in 9th grade after getting confirmed just to please my mother. However, there were good elements to churchgoing and that’s what I want to pursue. I need a sense of community. I need a support network. All my closest relationships are online, even with friends that are physically living in town. I go from work to home and don’t see anyone but co-workers and my kids because of the split-shifting Mr. b and I are doing right now. And that’s fine and it’s temporary, but I do need to retain my sanity during this phase of our lives.
I also want Kirk to grow up with the fun of youth group and having “church friends” distinct from “school friends”. He’s getting old enough to Ask Questions and while we can provide plenty of answers, I also want him to have a framework to find his own answers. I want him to gain the tools to live an ethical life and be intellectually curious and open to change and differences.
So this Sunday we went to service at the local Unitarian Universalist society. And it was great. It’s so refreshing to listen to a minister talk about the Bible, MLK Jr, Greek philosophy, Buddhism, and pan-theistic deities, all while making actually funny pop song lyric references. My friend morrigan grew up in this church so of course I was there for lock-ins and stuff but I never actually went to services. Kirk had his naming ceremony at this church but I never actually went to services. Then I discovered that K had started going. Somehow knowing that someone else was going to be there was just the little push I needed.
The look on Kirk’s face when he saw his best friend in the universe at the church Sunday morning was better than priceless. Now I just need to remember that going is part of our new routine each weekend. I’m in the midst of planning out Ronnie’s naming so that will help. And I know that my blue funk won’t last. The world isn’t actually taking me for granted, though it feels that way these days. There’s a lot of potential for change happening in my life right now and once directions are decided, I suspect a feeling of calm will return. Until then, I look forward to another thought provoking Sunday morning.
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6 comments:
I find this interesting. In a lot of ways, I long for the church community that a lot of people seem to have. But, for me, it's never been there. I never felt it in the forced church going of my youth. And I went nearly two years ago with my friend, and I guess I am so athetistic, that I just got angry at what the people were saying and that they could believe it. Which kind of surprised me, because I always thought it was some stupid myth that atheists are angry at believers. Or at least that I was above that. But it kind of made me angry there. Hard to explain, and not a feeling at all that I want to revisit.
But, I still know friends who have such great ties with their churches and what not and it gives them a lot of satisfaction, and I like the idea, but clearly I need it in a different form.
Oh trust me, I know exactly what you mean. There's no way you could pay me enough to join an actual Christian church. I feel uncomfortable just attending particularly religious wedding ceremonies! But that's what's so great about the Unitarians. They don't care what you believe or don't believe. And not like those people who claim that their "progressive" church with all the lame music doesn't care. LIES. They expect you to Believe. I mean truly, believe what you want, just be a good person. It's totally for intellectuals. I think you'd love it if you could find a good one. Apparently the current minister is from Atlanta. I could ask him for some recommendations in your area.
Wow, you managed to take some of the things I've been feeling over the past year and put it into words. I know exactly where you're coming from and that longing for a sense of "community". I grew up Catholic, and ugh... I lapsed a long time ago when I woke up to all the hypocrisy. I've scoped out the UU church near us, but I've been too chicken to check it out just yet. Maybe I need to. Thanks for the motivation!
It couldn't hurt to ask if you wouldn't mind. Because I seriously need some social connections and a place that... yeah, who knows, maybe it is something I need to look into.
Kate - I'm both glad you know what I'm talking about and sorry to hear you've been going through anything even remotely similar. I know I was chicken to actually go to the UU, and I knew people and had been there before! I hope you do check it out and that it feels right to you. Keep me posted!
EmH - I'll talk to him on Sunday and email you.
This is wonderful Bels. Y'know there is a huge distinction from church friends versus school friends. My church friends and I are still to this day. I had the most fun with that group of people.
I love the Unity Church in our area. The support they give and the friendships we've made, you are going to fit right in and get that feeling you have been missing.
I miss you guys. xoxoxo
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