Kirk fights with us over trying new foods. It’s gotten to be quite brutal. He didn’t start out as a picky eater and I’m really not sure how it even happened. We have spaghetti once a week because it’s cheap and easy, yes, but also because we know he will eat it. We always have fish sticks in the house and have had many meals of frozen fish filets along side his breaded minced fish sticks. I won’t cook him his own separate meal but I also don’t want him to starve.
We’ve tried so many different methods to get him to just try things. Mr. b is right that we don’t want to make eating an unpleasant experience so I especially have to keep my temper in check and make sure I’m not punishing him unduly. But it’s also gotten to the point where Kirk has requested time out in his room in lieu of trying the one bite we’re requiring. And that is not going to fly.
Typically we’ll insist on One Single Bite of whatever the new food item is, and then he can have a peanut butter sandwich or something else. Occasionally Kirk will find that he actually likes it and then eat a normal dinner with us. Usually, however, there are tears and screams and yelling and threats and he’ll get his blanket or other precious item put on top of the refrigerator and I’ll end up throwing up my hands before I get physical and then Mr. b leaves for class and I’m stuck with a child in revolt. I’ve attempted a new rule: you don’t want to try that new thing? Fine. But you have to try *some other* new thing of your choice. So far that’s worked a grand total of One Time.
I know that it can take kids up to 10 tries before they develop a taste for something new to their palates. I know that just providing the options and eating by example are all supposed to be the “correct” action. But frankly, I don’t see it working. I guess we’ll move on to the smother-it-in-ketchup option next. I don’t really know what else to try. I do know that fighting with Kirk about his eating habits brings out the absolute worst in me and I hate that. I hate that I have such violence inside me and I hate that it’s my own child that activates it.
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9 comments:
Mom had a simple rule when feeding the kids: "Eat what I put in front of you, or don't eat at all. Your choice."
There is no way to keep this short, but I will try. My Mom always had lots of new stuff on the table for her and Daddy, but if my brother and I weren't interested, we got the leftovers from the fridge or a standard meal, like the fish sticks. We ate plenty, just not quite as varied even with plenty of exposure from a stay-at-home-mom who liked to read recipes and cook new stuff several times a week.
Mom grew up on a farm and her mother never battled about food and she never battled us. I wouldn't try chinese food until I was well into my teens and never had pizza until I was maybe 18 or 20? (grew up in a small town in the south ... with southern parents ;)).
Now we did like fruit, vegetables (we had a garden) and ate standard type meats. I always loved onions, my brother still hates them.
One thing I figured out for myself when quite young, was that if too many food items were mixed in a dish like a casserole or soup, I wouldn't eat it. Still have a hard time with that. My brother didn't like his food to touch each other and would often eat one thing at a time on his plate.
So to this day, I still haven't had a Big Mac, but I can eat Chinese food with lots of different veggies & meat (more than 3 things "ha ha ha") and I only eat cheese pizza. Pepperoni never tasted good to me, but my brother loves it ... go figure.
As long as Capt K. gets some variety in his diet and the other items are around, eventually he will try and experiment, but it may take a few years.
I found when taking care of kids, that the ones who ate different foods could often win over other children to try someg new food(s). Not peer pressure, but the observation that other childen enjoy that taste.
I would be honest with them that it was soft, chewy, crunchy, bland, spicey, etc. I also tried to explain the difference between seasonings that shouldn't be eaten by themselves, but a little bit on the food is sometimes nice. Because I was never forced to eat something I didn't care for by either of my parents I survived and so did my brother. Other relatives who tried the strong arm tactics always lost. I didn't have a big sweet tooth so threatening no dessert ... no big deal for this girl!
Standard fare is comfort food, even to this day for me. I had leftover chicken and rice for lunch today, which is one of the earliest meals I remember from my high-chair days.
ex-babysitter
Gawd Bells. I don't know what to say. I ate everything as a child. I do remember not liking Rice Krispies. To this day I can't eat them. I had a bad memory association with that particular food item.
Have you tried this?
Engage your child to assist you in the cooking process. Children feel a sense of pride whenever they are given responsibility to do adult jobs. Your child's pride would most likely excite him/her to eat the food that he/she prepared.
Hang in there baby. xoxo
I've had an uphill battle with eating new foods ever since Henry started on solids. To this day his food repertoire is pretty much limited to chicken nuggets, fish sticks, a handful of select fruits and veggies, and practically any carb - except noodles (argh!). I swear he starves at daycare most days, living on milk and bread. So needless to say, I resonate with your frustration and anger. You're stronger than me though to stick it out and not cook him a separate meal. Our toaster oven works overtime around here. I wish I had a secret trick to share, but all I can say is good luck! I'm with you on this.
A64 - That's sort of what I go with more often than not. Kirk continues to be a milk addict so he knows he won't get another cupful later at night unless he has dinner.
ex-sitter - "Too many items" is an interesting idea that I will definitely have to look into. I wonder if that might be part of the beginning of removing the dinties from pizza? I know he doesn't like sauce on most things so that certainly could be part of it. I will keep my eyes peeled. Thanks for the idea!
sbf - Unfortunately, the cooking-makes-them-willing-to-try thing has not yet worked. Kirk enjoys helping me and continues to look forward to the day when I declare he's old enough to be taught to use the sharp knife, but he does not care to try anything just because he helped to make it. They are completely unrelated in his mind.
Kate - I'm actually glad to hear you and Henry are struggling with the same issue. I know it's a common thing but balls it's frustrating. I totally wonder what that kid eats at daycare!!
Oh man, don't even get me started on this topic! The first few years my son ate anything I put in front of him but grew progressively pickier. At the age of ten there are only a handful of meals he enjoys, on heavy rotation. But I do cut him more slack than most parents, only because he was diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction, along with his autism spectrum disorder. He can't stand the physical sensation of some foods. Like potatoes. Which is ok, because potatoes aren't the most nutrition packed food item, but they are something I enjoy regularly, so I often make meals or side dishes for one (myself) and then whatever my son is having. Thankfully he does love broccoli, green peas, spinach, mushrooms, various fruits, and whole grain breads. But still. It can be SOOOOOO frustrating, especially being a single parent on a budget. I splurged this year and got a half share from a CSA. My son wouldn't touch 75% of the vegetables we received. Hoping his horizons expand as he gets older. Certainly happened that way for me.
Le sigh.
My sister didn't like many foods when she was growing up. It usually devolved to her sitting at the table with a plate of food in front of her until my dad took pity on her and "helped" her finish her dinner.
I should point out this post to her for comments. ;)
How old was Parker when he was diagnosed, Sharyn? I know he was still very little when we were working together but I don't remember you having any suspicions at that point. Regardless, I totally feel him on the texture thing. I'd say 90% of my own food dislikes are purely texture issues. I try to get around it but it takes a LOT of effort.
Did it piss you off that your dad "helped", Anne? Just curious if this will become an inter-sibling rivalry thing as Ronnie gets older...
Nope. Didn't bother me at all. My dad helped me in my own way.
There was a time when I thought my mom liked my brother better because he didn't get into trouble for the same stuff we (MG and I) did, but my mom explained later in life that this was because he did so much worse stuff.
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