Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Boob Barnacle

I'm kind of perplexed by breast feeding. The actual nursing seems to be going fine. Veronica gained another two and a half ounces as of her Monday check-up. We'll have one more weight check next Monday and then we should be able to get on the normal well baby visits schedule.

My boobs are definitely heavy with milk. I haven't had any kind of painful engorgement to deal with, thankfully, but there's certainly no shortage of boobie juice for the girl. And yet I can't get anything from pumping. It's very frustrating. My sister loaned me her pump and it seems to be a good one and yet I'm only getting about an ounce of milk. Per day. Both boobs combined. I tried using the manual pump yesterday and it was the same results. I had a rental hospital pump with Kirk and that thing worked great. And I don't remember it making my nipples so sore afterwards either. I'm going to have to figure something out by the time I go back to work or else I'll be forced to wean just by dint of having my supply dry up.

Mr. b tried bottle feeding Ronnie for the first time Tuesday night. I thought it seemed like a good idea until he was actually doing it. I was appalled at how pathetic the fridge supply of milk was after all the pumping I had done. I was horrified at how quickly it was gone. And I felt utterly useless. My sole purpose has been to feed this child and I felt like my only job had been taken away from me. I sulked in the bedroom all night.

I'm certainly not afraid of formula. But with Kirk he was on both breast and bottle, both milk and formula from literal day one. So I never had the mental paradigm shift to handle. That's just how things were. Mr. b and I split the nights into shifts and took turns. He also had a different job then which allowed him to often be home during the day on occasion. So it felt like more of a team effort. Now it feels like it's just me. Which is both stressful and also great. Kirk hasn't wanted his mama for months now so at least this gives me something to do. But it's also wreaking havoc with the crazy post-partum hormone emotion roller coaster.

6 comments:

Mummy Grabill said...

((((BIG HUG )))) where the Post-partum emotions are concerned. I had no idea how bad the *normal* baby blues could be until I experienced them myself. They took me quite by surprise (even though everyone had talked about them leading up to Alex's birth).

I haven't tried pumping yet so I can't relate. Did you try contacting a lactation specialist at the hospital for advice? I'll be curious to know what you find out. Wishing you the best of luck!

Anonymous said...

Hey! It would be great if you knew someone who has been pumping for nearly a year now who could give you advice...*ahem* :)

I'll e-mail you. It'll be OK, I promise.

/lis

belsum said...

It's pretty intense at times, isn't it? I can't imagine what a BAD case would be like.

I haven't called the lactation line yet, no. I figured I should investigate as much as I could on my own first.

Zany Mama said...

I pumped for 15 months with Zane but only rarely with Eily. But when I did pump in the early days with Eily I used a hospital grade pump because I had awful plugged ducts - and it was hugely different than the backpack pump I bought, which was good and expensive and made for working moms, but it was no hospital grade pump.

Hospital pumps are quicker, get more milk, and are just gentler. Can you rent one?

Again, I'm totally against advice giving, but the difference between pumps just blew me away. And it stinks to be worried about milk supply/working/nursing - I feel you.

Adoresixtyfour said...

"Boob Barbacle"--sounds like a cartoon character from the '30s.

belsum said...

And you know you'd have a Boob Barnacle action figure!

Thanks, Zany, that's actually really helpful. Kirk's daycare lady mentioned she had trouble when she used a different pump for her second kid. But you're the first person that has also used a hospital pump and noticed a difference. I'm glad it's not just me. I probably will investigate rental options.