I am just not cut out to be a single mom or a stay at home mom. I can’t handle it. I need a break. Not a long one. And I don’t even need to get away. I just need to have someone else be in charge of the boy for a while. This weekend was hard on me. Mr. b was in the recording studio all day Saturday and all day Sunday. Sure he was home Sunday morning, but by the end of the night, the effect of his assistance had waned. It’s especially hard for me in the evening. I need time to wind down on my own. I need to make food for my own damn self. I’ve already spent all day playing and going for walks and feeding and caring and naps and diaper changes and bottles and everything and I need a break.
Of course it didn’t help that Kirk was out of sorts much of the weekend, starting Friday. My sister reported that he had been quite crabby that day and sure enough, he was quite crabby for us at home. No matter, he went to bed before my dad even got there to watch him while I was at Mr. b’s gig. But before I left to see Mercurial Rage play, Kirk woke up. My dad was naturally excited to get to see his grandson even though he was being naughty by being up past his bedtime, after having gone to bed already. When I got home from the gig I found out that Crankenstein had stayed up crabbing and crying until 11pm. Teeth? Insomnia? Fucking with Grandpa? Who knows. But my dad finally got to see what a bad bedtime is like. We had previously just smiled and nodded when he would remark that Kirk never fusses up a storm. He finally got to experience the little guy’s not so little temper. Which he gets from the paternal line. Definitely.
But it’s not to say that Kirk was a pain in my ass all weekend. He was adorable at book club on Saturday. And he was alternately a cute bully and a sweetheart while playing with la’s adorable daughter on Sunday. But I’m still just exhausted. I’m burnt out from being the sole caregiver. My hat’s off to all those parents that stay home all day every day. And to those that don’t have someone else to give them a hand. I couldn’t do it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
4 comments:
I, too, am amazed at the single parents and the stay-at-homes. Actually, parenthood in general is really frakking amazing to me.
Having said that- you could do it if you had to. I'm sure you could.
I hear ya. I stay home with Henry only two days a week and it feels like a drain sometimes. Not sure I could hang as a full time stay-at-home.
Awww...Kirkenheimer was awesome w/ E! I saw zero bullying. He even kissed her head, or was he trying to take a bite? Hmmm.. Anyhow, we had a great time with you guys.
In regards to staying at home: you are lucky, see. You LIKE your job! If you detested the company you were employed by and they did horrible subcontracting for large scale oil refineries and other assorted "evil", or your boss was sleeping with her putrid alcoholic supervisor who you referred to as "The Ginger Midget" you might bliss out on dreams of staying at home with your cute monkey. All this being said, there are days I can't wait til Daddy gets home so I can reach for a ice cold adult pacifier.
He might have been trying to take a bite... ;-)
So, I'm guessing that company description has "nothing" to do with a previous employer!
Post a Comment