Monday, December 03, 2007

Fear is the Mind Killer

Kirk fell out of bed last night. He's been sleeping in his big boy bed of late but has had either Mr. b or me in it with him for at least part of the night. There are still no rails. About midnight, as I was falling asleep and Mr. b was reading, we heard a terrible crash and tore down the hallway to see what had happened to him. He was stuck under his crib, right next to his bed. So Mr. b crawled in with him, to comfort him after such a terrifying event. I didn't know if Kirk would be into the idea of sleeping in his bed again tonight but that's what he chose. Of course he asked me to stay with him. Like putting him to bed last night, I told him explicitly that I would lay down and cuddle him for a few minutes but that's all. Last night he cried. Tonight he accepted it.

He is definitely going through a period of fear though. He's been startling at noises he's never noticed before. "What's that?!" He'll scurry over for a hug and cling to me as I explain that it was nothing, the furnace starting or the house settling or the distant train yard or the kitties fighting. He accepts it calmly and returns to playing but it still keeps happening.

Kirk has also started using phrases like, "I'm scared." Where did he learn that? If you ask him what's scary he'll inevitably respond with "I don't know" but it's still interesting and a little disturbing. Well, maybe not disturbing. Fear is an important part of being a human. And with his tendancy to be a little bully it's always nice to have confirmation that he's feeling *some* emotions. But I don't want my son to be scared of anything. I don't want him to have to be afraid. He shouldn't need to experience true fear. I know he's just growing and developing and this, too, shall pass.

7 comments:

SRH said...

This is the time developmentally when fear really makes some inroads. Little Man was afraid of nothing until he was about 2.5 years old. then by the time he was 3 there was a growing list of things he was afraid of. I wouldn't worry about the fear thing any more than typical underlying parental worry for one's child.

FEZ BEAR said...

I remember hearing the THUD! the first night Henry slept in his bed. Not cool.

Anne C. said...

Although I completely understand the maternal impulse to not want your child to have to be afraid of anything, it might help for you to remember this: True courage is not being without fear, but doing things in spite of fear. I would rather have a courageous child than a fearless one.
(But you're right -- in an ideal world, he shouldn't HAVE to be afraid of anything.)

LA said...

I hear ya sister. Esther picked up "I can't do it" and uses it with just about everything. And she CAN do it. Where the hell did she get that? Yes, this too shall pass. Sux.

superbadfriend said...

How is Kirkie since you posted this?

xoxo

belsum said...

That's interesting, SRH. I'm glad to know a lot of it is just a phase.

Has Henry fallen out since the first night, fez bear?

Excellent quote, ana. And we definitely encourage Kirk's couragousness and feel superior when we seem him exploring something more fully than another child. Heh.

Man, LA, Kirk is still on about the "can't". His grammar is kinda hilarious though so I'm not helping by laughing when he says that he "can't want to" do something.

He's timid at times still, Jessie. He wants to hold hands when walking from the house to the garage in the dark evening.

FEZ BEAR said...

No, he hasn't. But he got has since received a new toddler bed from his aunt & uncle with a side rail.