Vision Quest

Kirk has his appointment with the eye specialist on Wednesday morning. His regular ophthalmologist suggested we see this guy for a second opinion on if the glasses are fixing his strabismus or if he’ll need patching or surgery or something else. Being that it’s the University, it’s a teaching hospital and clinic and the first doctor we saw was a resident. She was really good with Kirk, running through all the various tests, but definitely seemed flustered with some of his refusal to cooperate. She brought another woman in who I thought must have been an instructor but it wasn’t clear. This second woman was fabulous. She took no guff from Kirk but was also cheerful, brusque but friendly. She whipped through the final couple of exams in no time. They did some really interesting stereoscopic tests that I assumed were for eye alignment.

It’s amazing how much I know about eye exams now considering I’ve only ever had one in my lifetime – outside of school checks – and have never needed corrective lenses. There’s so much more than just how far you can see. Depth and clarity and binocularity and it’s really a truly amazing discipline.

And of course I knew that there was no way Kirk was going to be able to avoid getting his eyes dilated. He hates that. It’s not just the eye drops themselves, though he really despises that process as well. He truly can’t stand the effect of having his pupils opened so wide. He complained about the exam lights blinding him even! Not that I blame him. It’s very trippy. He was extremely concerned, knowing we were going to the eye doctor, and had been freaking out about getting shots and “magic eye drops”. I assured him he would not be getting shots but kept my mouth shut on the other. I counseled him to let the doctor know right away that he didn’t want those things and sure enough, when they walked in he announced his preferences. Alas, he did not avoid getting eye drops.

There is, however, a lot more stuff to do when you’re on campus and have to kill time waiting for the drops to take effect.

Then we finally saw the doctor himself. He was amazing. I really, really liked him. He was great with Kirk and explained everything to us very clearly. Apparently the middle woman that was so fabulously nonsense-free is an orthoptist. They specialize in vision alignment. The U graduates one per year and there are only ten programs in the country. The doctor has three on staff. So it really makes sense for us to go there. The doctor explained that while to us it looks like the glasses are correcting his cross, it’s actually still 6 or 7 degrees off. It has to be a larger degree to be noticed by the naked eye and they consider it parallel when it’s down to about 3 degrees. So he’s getting there! Since the glasses do seem to be making a difference, he wanted to try a new prescription for Kirk. In two months then he’ll check to see if that’s helping enough.

Basically there are three options: the glasses will correct it completely, the glasses won’t correct it at all, the glasses will correct it partially. Our next steps will depend on which of those three things happens. I feel positive that we’re not being pushed towards surgery and that if it ends up being necessary, it will be because all other options were explored fully. In the meantime, I guess we’ll have to go to the glasses store this weekend…

Karate Kid

Kirk had his very first karate class last night! It’s through the city recreation department. All the parents were sitting along the wall in the room as the 3 to 6 year olds sort of listened and sort of followed directions. Mr. b had predicted that Kirk would go all shy and cling to his legs at first. If he had put money on it, he would have won. But after not too much persuasion, Kirk got in line with the other kids and paid attention about as well as I could expect from him. Hell, I remember my first year of dance when I was 4 and we did a crap job of learning our steps and staying in formation and whatever. We had a tap dance with baby dolls. I’m sure it was precious.

Anyway, first the teacher had them warm up. They ran in a giant circle around the perimeter of the room. Hilarious. Then she had them learn how to fall. She explained to us parents that it was important for kids to know how to fall for when they get into school if they get pushed down they won’t bang their head on the pavement. Great. Basically she had them do backward and forward shoulder rolls down a padded incline, onto a mat. Then the kids got to crawl through a little canvas tunnel and get back in line. It took a few tries but we finally got Kirk to let us hold onto his glasses. He was the only glasses kid there. The final activity was a little weird. Each kid picked a color out of four options, then the teacher spread a bunch of short soccer cones out on the floor in the various colors and the kids had to go collect only their chosen color. And that was it! A half hour goes very fast.

Since Mr. b has to leave for his own class when Kirk’s gets done, I walked home with the kids. Kirk was very excited and talked about how much fun he had and what he’s going to do “next day” and how he’s “so tough”. Even though Thursday nights are my nights for choir, I think I might want to get Kirk signed up for the next session already. Mr. b can take them and I can meet them there after practice. I’m just glad that the boy didn’t fight it and seemed to genuinely enjoy himself.

Eye Cee Ewe

Kirk had another eye appointment on Friday. He was…less well behaved than the first time. The optometrist’s assistant asked if he knew letters and started out showing him letters. He named them clearly for a while and then started in with the lunatic babbling. I hate when he does that. He totally sounds like Billy Madison. It’s sort of a corollary to him acting extra weird around kids he doesn’t know well. He is so smart and well spoken at home but then when there are adults he doesn’t know well he just switches into gibberish. He thinks it’s funny of course and I just want to bash my head against the wall. So she started showing him pictures instead of letters and he was mildly more clear with his responses, but only up to a point. I honestly don’t know how she was able to glean anything from it at all.

And then it was time for the eye drops. I knew it was going to be a problem. I mean, Kirk remembered them vividly from his first appointment. His father took him to his second appointment but that was just a muscle check so no dilation necessary. I actually had to hold him arms down so she could get the drops in his eyes. It was pretty ridiculous.

The nice thing is that then you have to wait a while for the drops to take effect and that break really helped to reset Kirk’s behavior. We played in both of the waiting rooms at the clinic so he could check out the varying toys. He even made friends with a couple of other kids in for whatever check-ups that day. So by the time he was seen by the actual doctor himself, he was reasonably cooperative.

The doctor wants Kirk to see a specialist. A specialist in eye surgery. I think I did a good job of not freaking out but also not being meek. I wanted to make sure that by seeing a specialist we weren’t passively agreeing to any surgery without further discussion. As I understand it, Kirk’s got a more unusual form of the strabismus than is typical for a kid. His vision in his right eye is equal to the vision in his left eye. They are both farsighted the same amount. So when he’s wearing his glasses, the right eye is straight. However, the muscle in the right eye is still weaker so it hasn’t been corrected by the workout of wearing glasses. In this instance that means that giving him an eye patch, to force the right eye to work overtime, wouldn’t actually make a difference because his sight isn’t the issue. (I wonder if this would work? Heh.) The doctor doesn’t know if this is something that Kirk will just grow out of and that’s why he wants a second opinion. I guess that makes sense, though I’m still completely freaked by the idea of my child needing surgery. But it’ll take a while before we find out since the specialist likely won’t be able to get us in for many months. In the meantime, Kirk’s glasses prescription remains the same and no other changes need to take place so that’s good.

Eye Boogers

Ronnie had her first non-weight check or well baby related doctor’s visit yesterday. She woke up with her right eye crusted shut. It had been sort of boogery/mucusy on and off for the previous two days but never really that bad. She hasn’t had a fever or any other signs of sickness, other than a slight cough, so I hadn’t been worried about her. But even though having your eye that crusty is a pretty legitimate reason to go in to the doctor, I still wondered if I was just being an alarmist parent.

Doc didn’t seem to think I brought her in unnecessarily. He prescribed some eye drops, which I suck at administering. Babies have such immature sinuses that mucus can only really escape through the tear ducts and that in turn can cause an eye infection. I’m just glad that her first sickness is an easy one.

Child Garden

Friday morning we took Kirk in for his Kindergarten pre-screening testing. It's required by the state of Minnesota for all children attending public schools. There were three parts to the screening: mental development, physical development, and bureaucracy.

We had a lot of paperwork to fill out, some of it immediately identified by Mr. b as remnants of the "progressive" programs instituted by New Dealers. Then we all went in to meet with the first of three ladies. She had Kirk build small towers of blocks, do some counting, pick the correct opposites, match shapes, do simple drawing, things like that. As a parent it was incredibly difficult to keep my mouth shut. I wanted to nudge him in the right direction, give him hints, or simply laugh at his hilarious attempts or failures. There were several instances where he got something wrong that he knows perfectly well how to do. But I suppose having the patience to go through this process is part of the whole "readiness" idea.

Next we went to get his eyes checked. That seemed silly to me since obviously Kirk wears glasses. He wasn't interested in their old school vision chart and the lack of friendliness on the part of the woman administering this portion of the exam certainly didn't help. We gave up on that and tried to do the hearing test. But she accidentally stepped on Kirk's foot and he cried and cried and cried and we gave up on that, too. I have two forms for medical professionals to fill out now. He's got his eye check-up next week but the hearing one will have to wait for his next physical in July. I remember doing all these tests in elementary school and really enjoying the hearing one especially. Mr. b says he remembers them, too.

Lastly we met with a lady to review all the results. Kirk's age bracket, 3.8-3.9 years, needed to score an 18 out of 48 on the mental stuff. He got a 32. So no worries there. Basically, everything is on track and there are no areas of concern. We found out which elementary school he'll attend - and that he'll ride the bus - and that's about it. It was an interesting process and definitely a milestone. It's hard to believe I'll have a "school aged" child soon but he'll start Kindergarten next year!

Perception

We picked Kirk up from daycare last night and told him we were going to go straight to the glasses store. He sincerely, and with a great deal of concern, asked, "Do I have to put poop in the potty to get my glasses?" He was overjoyed to learn that no, he does not have to put poop in the potty to get his glasses. Heh.



They had a great selection of cool kid frames at the one-hour place at the mall. Referencing a photo of David Tennant's Tenth Doctor, Kirk's only requirement was that they were black.



The biggest challenge is going to be getting Kirk to look through the glasses. He wears them down on his nose and looks over the top. We've been reminding him non-stop to push them up. I've been trying to explain that he needs to look through them in order to help his eyes see things close by. I honestly don't think he's seeing that much of a revelatory difference in his vision so far. It's not like he's in school and needing help focusing on his homework or reading assignments! Mr. b pointed out that he does look at books that we read to him and watch DVDs on the little portable player and paint pictures and that's all close to his face but it's not the same as focusing on schoolwork. I did notice tonight that he was rubbing his weaker eye so I just have to cross my fingers and hope that it's already being forced to work harder.

All this glasses talk has caused me to think through our immediate family members and catalogue who wears and glasses and when they got them. My brother was in elementary school, possibly fifth grade or so. I don't remember when my sister got hers but I think it was about the same time. They both have relatively weak prescriptions though. My mom's out of town so I haven't asked her but my vague memory is that she also was closer to junior high when she got her first specs. My dad didn't need anything until recently and that's just your standard age-related reading glasses. Mr. b's brother, like him, doesn't need corrective lenses. His aunt, however, started wearing them sometime in K-2 and has needed them ever since. She even apologized for her part in passing along bad genes! The smoking gun, so to speak, would seem to be her brother, my father-in-law. Mr. b's dad had a lazy eye when he was little and needed serious coke bottles. That's exactly what would happen to Kirk's slight cross eye if it went untreated! My FIL apparently stopped wearing them in high school at some point - he certainly didn't wear them in Nam - but started again in his late 30s and is now almost completely blind in one eye. I do wonder if it's the same eye that was lazy as a kid and if that lengthy hiatus from glasses had anything to do with it.

I think the hardest part for both Mr. b and I is the realization that Kirk is never going to look the same. When he first tried on his frames at the store we sort of had a collective heartbreaking moment, knowing that this is our son now. He's a glasses kid. It's momentous and a milestone and amazing. His sister will literally never know him looking any other way. He will always have had glasses in her memory. Sure, he won't wear them constantly and someday he'll likely demand contacts or laser surgery or whatever but by then we'll instead be used to him with glasses on his face. It's just going to take some adjustment time. It's a cognitive leap or something.

Hindsight?

So. Kirk needs glasses.

This morning I took Kirk in to the eye doctor. Doc had suggested that we go have him checked out, oh, about a year ago and it finally happened. He was such a good boy. He was really kind of freaked out about it but brought with his little felt kitty puppet he made at daycare a while back because it was loosing its eye and needed to see the eye doctor, too. The nurse ran him through a bunch of tests. Instead of a regular chart he got to identify pictures of things like a hand, a bird, a tractor, and a cake. He was having fun and she was absolutely awesome with him. Then came the “magic raindrops”. He did not like those. I didn’t realize they were going to dilate his pupils so the entire appointment took about three times longer than I was mentally prepared for.

After playing in the lobby for a half hour we went back in. Kirk was complaining about how his eyes were “weird” and I assured him they would go back to normal. I’ve only had my eyes dilated once but yeah, it was weird all right. It’s sort of funny to see a kid with giant acid-trip pupils! The nurse checked out his eyes with a series of lenses and then eventually the doctor himself came in. Kirk was fabulous. He was so calm and well behaved while the doctor used all his lights and lenses and various other doodads and “doctor tools”. I was unbelievably proud of my son.

And then I got the verdict: he’s farsighted. He’s got a common little kid thing called strabismus that usually develops around age 2 or 3 and doesn’t necessarily have to be genetic. In fact, one of the factors is low birth weight. Well, he certainly had that. The doctor didn’t think that the plagiocephaly, or flattened skull, had anything to do with its development. The problem is, if the glasses don’t help to strengthen his weaker right eye, then he’ll have to have an eye patch. Great. But at least now we know. It explains why the one eye sometimes seemed to be turned inward, but not always.



Tonight we’re going to get Kirk’s glasses prescription filled. This is all brand new territory for both Mr. b and I. Neither of us have ever had anything other than perfect vision. But we’ll become experts fast enough since it sounds more likely that Kirk will need lenses for life, rather than eventually grow out of it. It could happen but it would be years from now. So we’re going to make sure he knows how special he is. Good thing he’s already a big Doctor Who fan – he’s going to get his very own brainy specs! I’m sure we’ll see kids in cartoons wearing glasses everywhere once he’s got them but at the moment only Clark Kent is coming to mind. Mr. b asked Kirk’s godfather to come by wearing his own glasses and taunt us for not being cool enough to get to wear them. I also suggested we let Kirk pick out someplace for us to go to dinner tonight to celebrate picking out his new frames. I’m assuming that’ll mean either the Taco Rice Restaurant or the Spaghetti Restaurant. (Which is a win for Preggo Mommy as well!) And then we’ll have a new thing to fight about when we have to make sure that he actually does wear the suckers every day, all day. Because in two months we have to go back and have a muscle check. Hopefully we won’t also need to pick out pirate role models to convince him that patches are the coolest.

Milk Fed Veal

Kirk had his 3 year check-up this morning. Everything is awesome, he’s in perfect health, developing fantastically, blah blah blah. But we definitely have a couple of take-aways. Mr. b asked about milk. Because Kirk drinks a lot of it. So much that Doc was actually worried that he might be anemic. Apparently kids reach a point where getting the majority of their calories from milk instead of solid food can deprive them of other nutrients, particularly iron. So Kirk had to have his finger pricked. He looked at the lab tech with this shocked, accusatory expression on his face and hissed, “You hurted me!” But he didn’t cry and he forgot all about it once we left. The results? His hemoglobin is “excellent” and he’s definitely not anemic. However, we’re still going to start weaning him off the constant milk cups. It’s largely a laziness factor I think. On both sides. It’s easy to just get him a sippy of milk and it’s easy for him to just carry around a sippy of milk. I’ve already begun to only fill the cup 1/2 or 2/3 full when he asks for some so that’s a start. We’re going to get him some Flintstones vitamins, too.

We also need to actually take him in to an optometrist. We should have after we saw Doc the last time to check out his eyes/flat head. But laziness prevailed there as well and it didn’t happen. Now she’s worried that his right eye might be developing a little off and wants us to be sure that it’s not that and is only a result of the skull shape. Great. Oh and teeth. Time to take him to the dentist. Well, since he’s not on my dental insurance yet that’ll have to wait until next year. I have a check-up I need to schedule soon for myself and I was thinking of bringing him along just to observe and get used to the idea.

Doc also was properly saddened by her decision to quit delivering babies when we told her I’m knocked up. She spoke highly of the guy I’ll be seeing in a couple weeks for my first ob visit though and asked that I bring Child Person to her after the birth.

The last thing we need to work on is something we’ve been working on already: potty training. Doc suspects that it may come down to peer pressure for Kirk. He’s certainly physically capable of doing it. But he doesn’t care. And he’ll convince himself that he “can’t” and then won’t even try. Mr. b has instigated a bribery system that works…to a point. Kirk will most definitely put his pee in the potty if there’s a toy on the line. Stickers and suckers seem to be less worth the effort however. So yesterday he peed in the potty four times in rapid succession – just enough to get the three Cars hotrods and one Cars book that were taunting him from on top of the refrigerator. Maybe this plan is backfiring after all.

Giving the Stink Eye

OK good. So we're not bad parents. We finally took Kirk in to the doctor yesterday morning to have his eye checked out. It's been looking slightly crossed for a few months now. I called and talked to Doc about it back in...late November I think and she told me not to worry unless it seemed like it was getting worse. Well, I don't know if it was getting worse or not but more and more people noticed it. Then again, it could be because they were looking for it. My mom has been totally guilt-trip-inducing freaked out about it and passed that on to my sister and her insane MIL and just ugh! Leave us alone!

Doc called it plagiocephaly and said it's pretty common these days. You see, with all of the SIDS hysteria, babies are put down to sleep on their backs now. And that causes them to get flat heads. It also necessitates Tummy Time and causes slower crawling development. So apparently Kirk's got an asymmetrical head and one eye is literally in front of the other. Causing him to look cross-eyed when not really. She tested the eye muscles as best as she could as a GP and doesn't think there's anything else happening. We still need to take him in to a specialist (do they have pediatric optometrists?) to make sure but basically, he'll grow out of it by the time he's 4 or 5. In extreme cases the kids have to wear a helmet to reshape their skulls. But she said that she's had patients with more severe flattening than Kirk has and they haven't needed a helmet.

Doc also told us she was truly amazed at his language development for a two-year-old boy. That was nice to hear from a professional for a change, instead of "interested parties" such as grandparents. Heh.

Lighten Up

Dammit. My sister has me all paranoid about keeping a light on in Kirk's room. Since he was born I've kept a small lamp on the lowest setting on in his room at night. He pulls nightlights out of the socket and I need to be able to see when I go in there at night. She peeked in there on Friday night and was amazed at how bright it was. I didn't think it was that bright! Then she went on about how she's read that keeping a light on in your kid's room hurts their eye development (I don't buy that at all) and can instigate fear of the dark (this I can buy). So now I'm wondering if Kirk's going to get all phobic about the dark just because I personally like to have a light on. And I've always slept with a nightlight. I like to be able to see at least a little bit if I wake up. I don't need much; the light from the clock or an LED or something else small is plenty after my eyes have adjusted. So now I'm freaking myself out for probably no reason but mostly I'm just pissed that I let her get to me like this. You'd think I was the younger sister and not the oldest.